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With increased burden of studies , children often look for various options to relax and entertain themselves. Can television be preferred over reading habit of children.

With increased burden of studies, children often look for various options to relax and entertain themselves. Can television be preferred over reading habit of children. 6xKwj
Education plays a vital role in upbringing and learning of children. Nowadays, children feel more pressurized to achieve their academic goals. To reduce this pressure, they often use various entertainment methods such as watching television or reading books. I believe, reading offers more benefits to children rather than watching television. First and the foremost, reading increase knowledge and imagination power of children. Secondly, it also helps to improve language skills and vocabulary of students. Because reading requires more attention and concentration, it also enhances focusing ability. Moreover, reading also improves one's thought process and writing skills.
Education plays a vital role in upbringing and learning of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
feel more pressurized to achieve their academic goals. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
this pressure, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
various entertainment methods such as watching television or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
books. I believe,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
offers more benefits to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
rather
than watching television.

First
and the foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
increase knowledge and imagination power of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Secondly
, it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
language
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and vocabulary of students.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
requires more attention and concentration, it
also
enhances focusing ability.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
one's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
process and writing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

IELTS essay With increased burden of studies, children often look for various options to relax and entertain themselves. Can television be preferred over reading habit of children.

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
96 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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