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Do you believe celebrities should be paid more than other professional jobs like engineers and surgeons?

Do you believe celebrities should be paid more than other professional jobs like engineers and surgeons? yXLMV

I believe that life is not fair. The posture of fame becomes an obsession for people to earn more money. Nowadays, celebrities earn money more than other careers. Social media and followers make celebrities more famous around the world. When they post a photo or video in social media it will like millions of people and that can affect their views about something.

I believe that life is not This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :equitable
fair
. The posture of fame becomes an obsession for This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :individualsnationsociety
people
 to earn more money. Nowadays, celebrities earn money more than other careers. Social media and followers This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :createconstructmanufactureproduce
make
 celebrities more This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:well-known
famous
 around the world. When they post a photo or video in social media it will like millions of This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :individualsnationsociety
people
 and that can affect their views about something. 

IELTS essay Do you believe celebrities should be paid more than other professional jobs like engineers and surgeons?

Essay

American English

1 paragraphs

63 words

This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1

4.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
?
One main idea per paragraph
Include an introduction and conclusion
Support main points with an explanation and then an example
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Vary your linking phrases using synonyms

Lexical Resource: 6.5

Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes

Grammatical Range: 6.5

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
Check your writing for errors

Task Achievement: 6.0

Answer all parts of the question
?
Present relevant ideas
Fully explain these ideas
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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