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Do you believe celebrities should be paid more than other professional jobs like engineers and surgeons?

Do you believe celebrities should be paid more than other professional jobs like engineers and surgeons? yXLMV
I believe that life is not fair. The posture of fame becomes an obsession for people to earn more money. Nowadays, celebrities earn money more than other careers. Social media and followers make celebrities more famous around the world. When they post a photo or video in social media it will like millions of people and that can affect their views about something.
I believe that life is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
. The posture of fame becomes an obsession for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to earn more money. Nowadays, celebrities earn money more than other careers. Social media and followers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
celebrities more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
around the world. When they post a photo or video in social media it will like millions of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and that can affect their views about something.
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IELTS essay Do you believe celebrities should be paid more than other professional jobs like engineers and surgeons?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
63 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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