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Some people think that scientist are very important for society. Others feel that politicians are more important. Which would you say has greater importance?

Some people think that scientist are very important for society. Others feel that politicians are more important. Which would you say has greater importance? n6x7P
Every society has important contributors that create safe, healthy, and productive lives for the citizens. When it comes to the most significant residents of a city, scientist and politicians are often considered. In fact, scientist are actually more importance due to their impact from new technology and cured diseases. One of the foremost reasons to choose Scientist, as they involve in building new technologies. Not only new technology, but cure diseases further support the decision of choosing scientists over a politician.
Every society has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
contributors that create safe, healthy, and productive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
for the citizens. When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to the most significant residents of a city,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientist
and politicians are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
considered. In fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientist
are actually more importance due to their impact from new technology and cured diseases.

One of the foremost reasons to choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Scientist
, as they involve in building new technologies.

Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
new technology,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
cure diseases
further
support the decision of choosing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientists
over a politician.
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IELTS essay Some people think that scientist are very important for society. Others feel that politicians are more important. Which would you say has greater importance?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
81 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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