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with handling heavy workloads. Young people nowadays easily fall into a stressful life which leads to negative influences on physical and mental aspects. Dicuss the above mentioned view and give your explanations

with handling heavy workloads. Young people nowadays easily fall into a stressful life which leads to negative influences on physical and mental aspects. Dicuss the above mentioned view and give your explanations eE3qG
Nowadays, the young are falling into a stressful life easily because they have to take many heavy workloads. This causes many negative influences on. . . This essay will discuss and give explanations to the given opinion. Getting to the opinion, the first reason of this problem is the development of technology. Young people communicate through social network with their phone or computer Therefore, they do not meet other people usually and which to weak skill of communication Futhermore, they have to work many things on their computer, especially in this lockdown, and cause many bad effect on their health. The second cause of this problem is the expectation of their family and friends. Moreover, their ego and greed of fame. Those reasons make them want to do their best, or just want to complete the work perfectly to be deserved with their family's expectation. If they can not finish it as they expect, they can get depressed and have many bad influences on mental aspects or even physical ones. In conclusion, I think the given view is one of the reason leads to negative influences on physical and mental aspects
Nowadays, the young are falling into a stressful life
easily
because
they
have to
take
many
heavy workloads.

This causes
many
negative
influences on.
.
.


This essay will discuss and give explanations to the
given
opinion. Getting to the opinion, the
first
reason of this problem is the development of technology.

Young
people
communicate through social network with their phone or computer

Therefore
, they do not
meet
other
people
usually
and which to weak
skill
of communication

Futhermore
, they
have to
work
many
things on their computer,
especially
in this lockdown, and cause
many
bad
effect on their health.

The second cause of this problem is the expectation of their family and friends.

Moreover
, their ego and greed of fame.

Those reasons
make
them want to do their best, or
just
want to complete the work
perfectly
to
be deserved
with their family's expectation.

If they can not finish it as they
expect
, they can
get
depressed and have
many
bad
influences on mental aspects or even physical ones.

In conclusion
, I
think
the
given
view is one of the reason leads to
negative
influences on physical and mental aspects
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IELTS essay with handling heavy workloads. Young people nowadays easily fall into a stressful life which leads to negative influences on physical and mental aspects. Dicuss the above mentioned view and give your explanations

Essay
  American English
9 paragraphs
190 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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