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Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences.*

Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences. * B7YRm
From my passion, I am a mathematician. I often hear from students that understanding mathematics is troublesome, I feel awful. Due to that Within the summer occasions, I try to fill up my colony kids with inspiration towards math. And I attempt to teach them mathematics in the right and curious way. I usually make them realize that mathematics is not just a subject, it's the language of the universe by relating mathematics to real life. It is one of the portion in my life where I discovered the foremost peace in my life. But my time as their mathematics mentor eventually driven me to find how students think, how they learn new things, and difficulties as a mentor or tutor.
From my passion, I am a mathematician. I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
hear from students that understanding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mathematics
is troublesome, I feel awful.

Due to that Within the summer occasions, I try to fill up my colony kids with inspiration towards math.

And I attempt to teach them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mathematics
in the right and curious way. I
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them realize that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mathematics
is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a subject, it's

the language of the universe by relating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mathematics
to real life. It is one of the portion in my life where I discovered the foremost peace in my life.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
my time as their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mathematics
mentor
eventually
driven me to find how students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, how they learn new things, and difficulties

as a mentor or tutor.
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IELTS essay Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences. *

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
121 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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