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With further developmentof some nation,outlets which sell fast foods are setting up business in the country side .Discuss wether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

With further developmentof some nation, outlets which sell fast foods are setting up business in the country side. Discuss wether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Lqerp
Further development of some nations, has led to some outlets which sell fast foods building up businesses in the rural areas. This essay argues that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. It will discuss in what ways the benefits are stronger, then point out the flaw in the drawback. The main advantage of fast foods availability in rural areas is employment creation. That is to say, at the set up of these businessesin one area, they will need personnel to run it, and as such, they will resort to locals. For example, the Mashonaland East post reported, in its December 2020 copy that 11% of the youths in Marondera District got employed in fast foods outlets that year alone. In addition, the availability of fast foods in rural areas result in infrastructural development. That is to say, whenever a business is to be set up, there is development of roads that can take place. For instance, in my area, the road that connects to the food outlets that have been constructed recently have been resurfaced. On the other hand, some cite the unhealthiness of fast foods as a huge drawback. However, this point is flawed in that people have low incomes, and will not spend much of it on fast foods, enough for the unhealthiness of food to be realised. For instance, the people in such areas will normally have fast foods when bought for them by visiting relatives and these do not come often enough. In conclusion, it can be said that when fast foods are set up in rural areas this will lead to job creation, additionally cheap resources in such areas will ease the setting up of a business. However the unhealthiness of fast food has been indicated as a weaker point but it has some flaws in the sense that rural people do not buy the food all the time.
Further
development of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
nations, has led to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
outlets which sell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
building up businesses in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. This essay argues that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. It will discuss in what ways the benefits are stronger, then point out the flaw in the drawback. The main advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "foods'" or "food's"?
foods
availability in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
is employment creation.
That is
to say, at the set up of these
Possible spelling mistake found.
businessesin
one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
, they will need personnel to run it, and as such, they will resort to locals.
For example
, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mashonaland
East post reported, in its December 2020 copy that 11% of the youths in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Marondera
District
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
employed in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
outlets that year alone.
In addition
, the availability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
result in infrastructural development.
That is
to say, whenever a business is to
be set
up, there is development of roads that can take place.
For instance
, in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
, the road that connects to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
outlets that have
been constructed
recently have
been resurfaced
.
On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cite the unhealthiness of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
as a huge drawback.
However
, this point
is flawed
in that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have low incomes, and will not spend much of it on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
for the unhealthiness of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
to be
Possible spelling mistake. 'realised' is British English.
realised
.
For instance
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
will
normally
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
for them by visiting relatives and these do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
.
In conclusion
, it can
be said
that when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
are set
up in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
this will lead to job creation,
additionally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
resources in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
the setting up of a business.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
the unhealthiness of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
has
been indicated
as a weaker point
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
flaws in the sense that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
all the time.
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IELTS essay With further developmentof some nation, outlets which sell fast foods are setting up business in the country side. Discuss wether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
313 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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