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With divorce rates and family breakdowns increasing globally, it is generally accepted that families today are not as close as they used to be. Discuss the causes of this problem and offer dome possible solutions to it.

With divorce rates and family breakdowns increasing globally, it is generally accepted that families today are not as close as they used to be. Discuss the causes of this problem and offer dome possible solutions to it. j7dw
In today’s society, it is believed that abundance and material assets are the crucial measures, demonstrating success. Therefore, this essay will discuss should be accomplishment measured by wealth and what are the main factors making a person successful. It is not an undeniable fact that success might be determined by wealth, but not always. The particular reason for this circumstance is that when an individual has a prosperous career and gains the fruit of labor, admittedly his or her material possessions are quite a lot compared to ordinary people. However, this principle is unlikely to always work as there is an exception while a person has been ensured by richness and authority since his or her childhood. In this case, material belongings are not able to be an indicator of success. Achieving success is not an easy matter, because it should be based on setting goals and hard work that require plenty of time of life and labor. This actively demonstrates that money and valuable material possessions are not the best rates, indicating the prosperity of a person. On the other hand, the definition of being successful is considered variously by people. For someone it might mean being self-sufficient, for another one it is setting a life goal or building a home, thus it definitely depends on the priorities and sense of satisfaction of a person. However, there are various factors, which can assist people to achieve the own life goals. One of them is positive mental attitude that benefits to gain strength and not give up in challenging periods of life. Moreover, it improves responsibility in human to deal with positive sides of things in every situation and move ahead. Therefore, it means that people should be passionate and motivated to keep moving forward, despite all of the hurdles blocking the way to success. To sum up everything that has been stated so far, success has a different meaning for every individual that is why the wealth in abundance is not considered as a main indicator of it. In my point of view, accomplishment should be evaluated according to people’s own ideas about success.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s society, it
is believed
that abundance and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
material
assets are the crucial measures, demonstrating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
.
Therefore
, this essay will discuss should be accomplishment measured by wealth and what are the main factors making a person successful.

It is not an undeniable fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
might
be determined
by wealth,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not
The adverb 'always' is usually not used at the end of a sentence.
always
. The particular reason for this circumstance is that when an individual has a prosperous career and gains the fruit of labor,
admittedly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
material
possessions are quite a lot compared to ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
However
, this principle is unlikely to always work as there is an exception while a person has
been ensured
by richness and authority since
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
childhood.
In this case
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
material
belongings are not able to be an indicator of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
. Achieving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
is not an easy matter,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it should
be based
on setting goals and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work that require
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of time of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and labor. This
actively
demonstrates that money and valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
material
possessions are not the best rates, indicating the prosperity of a person.

On the other hand
, the definition of being successful
is considered
variously
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. For
The comma is probably missing here: "someone, it".
someone it
might mean being self-sufficient, for another one it is setting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
goal or building a home,
thus
it definitely depends on the priorities and sense of satisfaction of a person.
However
, there are various factors, which can assist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to achieve the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
goals. One of them is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
mental attitude that benefits to gain strength and not give up in challenging periods of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Moreover
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
responsibility in human to deal with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
sides of things in every situation and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
ahead.
Therefore
, it means that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should be passionate and motivated to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
moving forward, despite
Consider using "all the".
all of the
hurdles blocking the way to success.

To sum up everything that has
been stated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
far,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
meaning for every individual
that is
why the wealth in abundance is not considered as a main indicator of it. In my point of view, accomplishment should
be evaluated
according to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
.
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IELTS essay With divorce rates and family breakdowns increasing globally, it is generally accepted that families today are not as close as they used to be. Discuss the causes of this problem and offer dome possible solutions to it.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
355 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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