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With deforestation, urban development and illegal hunting, many animal species are becoming endangered as they lose their habitat and some are even threatened to the point of extinction. Do you think it is important to protect animals? What measures can be taken to deal with this problem?

With deforestation, urban development and illegal hunting, many animal species are becoming endangered as they lose their habitat and some are even threatened to the point of extinction. Do you think it is important to protect animals? What measures can be taken to deal with this problem? N1y2
Habitat of many animals and plants which are endangered are losing. By the way, some of them can become unexist in future. We have to protect them by building special habitats. There are many ways to protect and help them. Ignoring the problem with endangered species can lead to chaos. The extinction of any species can destroy balance in nature. For example, one type of birds eat one type of worms and if the second one dissappear, there will be nothing to eat for birds. The birds cannot be adapted so fast and find something else to eat and die. It will continue because there are other animal this type of birds. For this reason, the goverment can build new habitats fot animals and plants. The habitats should be far away from urban areas and strictly guarded from hunters. It can be near to the mountains for mountain goats, forests for monkeys. In conclusion, I believe that the endangered species will be protected and there will be a lot of new habitats for them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Habitat
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
animals and plants which
are endangered
are losing. By the way,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them can become
Possible spelling mistake found.
unexist
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
. We
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
protect them by building special habitats. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways to protect and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them.

Ignoring the problem with endangered species can lead to chaos. The extinction of any species can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
balance in nature.
For example
, one type of birds eat one type of worms and if the second one
Possible spelling mistake found.
dissappear
, there will be nothing to eat for birds. The birds cannot
be adapted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and find something else to eat and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
. It will continue
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are other animal this type of birds.

For this reason
, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
goverment
can build new habitats
Possible spelling mistake found.
fot
animals and plants. The habitats should be far away from urban areas and
strictly
The usual collocation for "guarded" is "against" not "from". Did you mean "guarded against"?
guarded from
hunters. It can be near to the mountains for mountain goats, forests for monkeys.

In conclusion
, I believe that the endangered species will
be protected
and there will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
new habitats for them.

IELTS essay With deforestation, urban development and illegal hunting, many animal species are becoming endangered as they lose their habitat and some are even threatened to the point of extinction. Do you think it is important to protect animals? What measures can be taken to deal with this problem?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
174 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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