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Some parents think parents should attend child care courses to learn how to take care of their children. Do you agree?

Some parents think parents should attend child care courses to learn how to take care of their children. Do you agree? AbJN
A growing number of people think that they should take training in child nursing. I think married pairs could admit to such courses to nurture their offsprings effectively. Firstly, it will educate the people to serve enough care to their children. Especially, after the first birth of children, couples are naturally immature to provide ideal care and diet to the newborn. Therefore, attending a workshop or course on this subject will not only prepare them to uprear their future generation well but also reduce their mental tension as they will be aware of related issued through the participation. For instance, a survey reveals that the percentage of child death has been drastically reduced after the government of Bangladesh has introduced a free awareness program for the pregnant woman about newborn nursing. Consequently, it will ensure the long-term prosperity of a country. If parents educate themselves to grow-up their offsprings in an appropriate manner, it is likely that these kids will grow as a successful person in their adult life. Because, these youngsters will get proper nutrition, treatments and diet which will help them to have a healthy body and mind. Moreover, they might have better cognitive development in their childhood compared to others as they will be treated by their ancestors in gentle ways. In turn, the nation will have productive manpower in the future. For example, Japan is one of the highest GDP earned states because of its productive citizens who are habituated to follow healthy surviving style from early in their life. In conclusion, some individuals opine that attending baby uprearing training will be helpful for ensuring the ideal care of their child. I completely agree with the view considering the benefits of kids as well as the nation.
A growing number of
people
think
that they should take training in child nursing. I
think
married pairs could admit to such courses to nurture their
offsprings
effectively
.

Firstly
, it will educate the
people
to serve
enough
care to their children.
Especially
, after the
first
birth of children, couples are
naturally
immature to provide ideal care and diet to the newborn.
Therefore
, attending a workshop or course on this subject will not
only
prepare them to uprear their future generation well
but
also
reduce
their mental tension as they will be aware of related issued through the participation.
For instance
, a survey reveals that the percentage of child death has been
drastically
reduced
after the
government
of Bangladesh has introduced a free awareness program for the pregnant woman about newborn nursing.

Consequently
, it will ensure the long-term prosperity of a country. If parents educate themselves to grow-up their
offsprings
in an appropriate manner
, it is likely that these kids will grow as a successful person in their adult life.
Because
, these youngsters will
get
proper nutrition, treatments and diet which will
help
them to have a healthy body and mind.
Moreover
, they might have better cognitive development in their childhood compared to others as they will
be treated
by their ancestors in gentle ways. In turn, the nation will have productive manpower in the future.
For example
, Japan is one of the highest GDP earned states
because
of its productive citizens who
are habituated
to follow healthy surviving style from early in their life.

In conclusion
,
some
individuals opine that attending baby uprearing training will be helpful for ensuring the ideal care of their child. I completely
agree
with the view considering the benefits of kids
as well
as the nation.
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IELTS essay Some parents think parents should attend child care courses to learn how to take care of their children. Do you agree?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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