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With deforestation, urabn development illegal hunting and many enimals are becoming endangered  and leads  to extintion.

With deforestation, urabn development illegal hunting and many enimals are becoming endangered and leads to extintion. wKNe3
Irrefutably, in contemporary era, increasing population need wide area to live, owing to that trees are cutting down. Not only this some people hunt animals for fulfill their hobby. This leads to extinction on animals and plants. I believe that we have to take action as soon as possible. This essay will shed light on this problem as well as give solution with valid standpoints in forthcoming paragraphs. To commence,   the increasing number of population required more nature resources. Also, people are hunting animals for joy. Government should address this problem and try protect animals as their population are decreasing. Numerous of countries economy are based of animal. For instance, in Africa continent there are many countries like Tanzania and Ethopia, this countries are famous for their wildlife animals. Many travelers choose to go this countries to see wild animals. Hence, animals are playing a key role for tourism and this countries economy. Out of many solution, The major effective solution is that, Government should impose strict lows on wildlife hunting. Furthermore, They ought to take steps to take lower deforestation and implement limitation on wood cutting. Moreover, they could start campaigning for awareness of animal extinction. Not only this, authorities should encourage small trusts and groups to support wildlife saving initiative. For example, according to  recent survey, it can be manifested that,   if citizens and Government both work in co-operation, then their are high chances that animals feel safe as well positive development in their habitant. To conclude, This essay tend to reiterate that everything has its own significance, noting cannot be ignored. Although, decreasing number of animal and plants, support of public and Government, this world would change positively.
Irrefutably
, in contemporary era, increasing population need wide area to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
, owing to that trees are cutting down. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
hunt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for fulfill their hobby. This leads to extinction on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and plants. I believe that we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take action as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible. This essay will shed light on this problem
as well
as give solution with valid standpoints in forthcoming paragraphs.

To commence,
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
the increasing number of population required more nature resources.
Also
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are hunting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for joy.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
should address this problem and
Probably a preposition is missing after 'try'.
try protect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
as their population are decreasing. Numerous of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
economy
are based
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
.
For instance
, in Africa continent there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
like Tanzania and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ethopia
,
Did you mean "these"?
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
for their wildlife
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
travelers choose to go
Did you mean "these"?
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are playing a key role for tourism and this
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "countries'" or "country's"?
countries
economy.

Out of
Possible agreement error. The noun solution seems to be countable; consider using: "many solutions".
many solution
, The major effective solution is that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
should impose strict lows on wildlife hunting.
Furthermore
, They ought to take steps to take lower deforestation and implement limitation on wood cutting.
Moreover
, they could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
campaigning for awareness of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
extinction. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
this, authorities should encourage
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
trusts and groups to support wildlife saving initiative.
For example
, according to
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
recent survey, it can
be manifested
that,
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
if citizens and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
both work in co-operation, then
Did you mean "there"?
their
are high chances that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
feel safe
as well
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development in their habitant.

To conclude
,
The verb 'tend' is plural. Did you mean: "This essay tends"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
This essay tend
to reiterate that everything has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
significance, noting cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
. Although, decreasing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
and plants, support of public and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
, this world would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
positively
.
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IELTS essay With deforestation, urabn development illegal hunting and many enimals are becoming endangered and leads to extintion.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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