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with all the troubles with world today, money spend on space exploration is a complete waste.The money could be better spend on other things.to what extent do you agree or disagree?

with all the troubles with world today, money spend on space exploration is a complete waste. The money could be better spend on other things. 8OJm
Unlike the past, when there is no experiment done in the space, at present, scientists give importance for research about space. There are contrasting perception in this matter. After weighing arguments for and against this matter i firmly dissent. Various avidences can be bolster my stand. The most prominent reason behind my opinion is that if scientists explore space it is beneficial for nation. This view exists as know more about space its good for new generation. As a result, now a days young generation is think more about science and also they have a dreams to do something good for country. In addition it is also seen that scientists do something new everyday so it is benefite for country. this reason is buoyed in the fact that explore the space and done so many experiments by place a setelites in the space it is give more opportunities and successes to make a develope country. Consequently, doing new experiments is benefite for country. moreover, everyone notice that so many research done by scientists in the space, and most of its are success. This factor is taken into account send a setelite in space for a different purpose like channel broadcast or other planets research so on. Therefore, sending setelites in the space is expensive but after it is successes its a beneficial for country. The fact that in my country mars mission is done and after that India is the first country who done this mission at the first attempt is a paradigm for this. To conclude, in the foreseeable future, space is the most important part to explore, It is prudent to explore space is fortunate for new generation.
Unlike the past, when there is no experiment done in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
, at present,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientists
give importance for research about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
. There are contrasting perception in this matter. After weighing arguments for and against this matter
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
firmly
dissent. Various
Possible spelling mistake found.
avidences
can be
Consider using a past participle here: "bolstered".
bolster
my stand. The most prominent reason behind my opinion is that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientists
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
explore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
it is beneficial for nation. This view exists as know more about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
generation.
As a result
,
Did you mean "nowadays"?
now a days
young generation is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
more about science and
also
they have
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a dream" or simply "dreams"?
a dreams
to do something
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. In
The comma is probably missing here: "addition, it".
addition it
is
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientists
do something
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
everyday
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is
Possible spelling mistake found.
benefite
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
reason
is buoyed
in the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
explore
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
and done
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
experiments by place a
Possible spelling mistake found.
setelites
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
it is give more opportunities and successes to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
Possible spelling mistake found.
develope
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Consequently
, doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
experiments is
Possible spelling mistake found.
benefite
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
moreover
, everyone
The pronoun 'everyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "notices", "noticed".
notice
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
Possible agreement error. The noun research seems to be uncountable; consider using: "much research", "a good deal of research".
many research
done by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientists
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
, and most of its are success. This factor
is taken
into account
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
a
Possible spelling mistake found.
setelite
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
for a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
purpose like channel broadcast or other planets research
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
Therefore
, sending
Possible spelling mistake found.
setelites
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
is expensive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
after it is successes
Did you mean "it's" (="it is") instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
its
a beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. The fact that in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
The planet and the god are written with uppercase. 'mars' refers to the verb 'mar' meaning to spoil, or the plural of the noun 'mar' meaning blemishes.
mars
mission
is done
and after that India is the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
who done this mission at the
first
attempt is a paradigm for this.
To conclude
, in the foreseeable future,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
explore
, It is prudent to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
explore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
is fortunate for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
generation.
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IELTS essay with all the troubles with world today, money spend on space exploration is a complete waste. The money could be better spend on other things.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
280 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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