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Shopping is now one of the most popular forms of leisure activity in many countries for young adults. Why is this? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Shopping is now one of the most popular forms of leisure activity in many countries for young adults. Why is this? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? ppD9
In our modern society, the trend of spending the free time primarily on shopping among the youngsters has grown remarkably. Personally, I believe that the negative aspects of this tendency surpass the positive points. In my opinion, media influence and the ease of accessibility are the main reasons behind this development. In this essay, I shall critically examine the given topic and outline relevant examples to support my view. To begin with, nowadays, the media have a significant influence on the people of the younger generation. Today, most of the advertisements shown on the television or the internet, are targeted towards this particular age group. This greatly encourages the tendency of shopping in one's spare time. For example, a recent study conducted at the Stanford University showed that due to the increased media influence, in the last decade, both offline and online shopping among the people of age 15 to 25 has risen considerably. These findings further illustrate the level of impact it has on the young people. Moreover, due to the recent advancements made in our mobile phone technology. It is now easier than ever to access the online e-commerce websites on your cell phones. This is an another reason behind this movement. In addition to this, a report published by the Oxford University press revealed that in the last 5 years, shopping apps for the mobile phones have witnessed a significant climb, due to the increased number of cell phone users, especially among the younger generation. In conclusion, this is a topic which raises many questions in the contemporary life. After a thorough analysis of the subject, I am inclined to say that the detrimental effects of this change cannot be denied, and thus it would be fruitful to search for the possible solutions to this global problem.
In our modern society, the trend of spending the free time
primarily
on
shopping
among the youngsters has grown
remarkably
.
Personally
, I believe that the
negative
aspects of this tendency surpass the
positive
points. In my opinion, media influence and the
ease
of accessibility are the main reasons behind this development. In this essay, I shall
critically
examine the
given
topic and outline relevant examples to support my view.

To
begin
with, nowadays, the media have a significant influence on the
people
of the younger generation.
Today
, most of the advertisements shown on the television or the internet,
are targeted
towards this particular age group. This
greatly
encourages the tendency of
shopping
in one's spare time.
For example
, a recent study conducted at the Stanford University
showed
that due to the increased media influence, in the last decade, both offline and online
shopping
among the
people
of age 15 to 25 has risen
considerably
. These findings
further
illustrate the level of impact it has on the young
people
.

Moreover
, due to the recent advancements made in our mobile
phone
technology. It is
now
easier than ever to access the online e-commerce websites on your cell
phones
. This is
an another reason
behind this movement.
In addition
to this, a report published by the Oxford University press revealed that in the last 5 years,
shopping
apps for the mobile
phones
have witnessed a significant climb, due to the increased number of cell
phone
users,
especially
among the younger generation.

In conclusion
, this is a topic which raises
many
questions in the contemporary life. After a thorough analysis of the subject, I
am inclined
to say that the detrimental effects of this
change
cannot
be denied
, and
thus
it would be fruitful to search for the possible solutions to this global problem.
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IELTS essay Shopping is now one of the most popular forms of leisure activity in many countries for young adults. Why is this? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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