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With advancements in medicine, many people are living longer lives, well into old age. What are the impacts of an increasingly aging population? How can societies maintain this development?

With advancements in medicine, many people are living longer lives, well into old age. What are the impacts of an increasingly aging population? How can societies maintain this development? mW52n
People today live longer than ever before. Medical breakthroughs, especially antibiotics, have enabled millions of people worldwide to extend their lifespans by decades, living near 100 years of age. This changing global demographic is putting various burdens on society as well as bringing certain benefits. I believe the greatest challenges posed by an aging population are demand for resources both natural and social; however, these can be alleviated through technology and regulation. When people get into retirement, they continue to consume not only food and shelter, but also time and finances. As the percentage of aging population increases, governments need to spend billions of extra dollars on medical care. As well, thousands of tonnes of food are eaten by the elderly which are no longer available for the next generation. For instance, I read in an article last year that the UK government spent two billion pounds over budget to sustain the aging population’s medical needs. Fortunately, there are solutions to these challenges. In order to sustain the growing population of people between 70 and 100 years-of-age, governments must establish clear regulations which aid in controlling the consumption of resources. Although it may be difficult at first, new regulations need to be put into place that restricts the amount living space, food-stuffs and medical treatments that people over the age of 70 are entitled to. Already such limitations can be observed in hospital systems where younger individuals are given priority over elderly waiting for organ transplants, such as kidney replacement. In the future, society must also implement space restrictions, such as people over the age of 70 living independently cannot occupy spaces over 100 square meters. This type of legislation needs to be brought about for future generations to maintain the health of society. In conclusion, humanity can expect that as medicine continues to extend the lives of humans, there is an ever-increasing age of life expectancy which brings with it a variety of hurdles. The most obvious challenges are depletion of resources. Solutions involve regulatory control in areas like food, medicine and living space. It is up to all of society to find the best answers for this dilemma in order to ensure the prosperity of current and future generations.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
longer than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Medical
breakthroughs,
especially
antibiotics, have enabled millions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
worldwide to extend their lifespans by decades,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
near 100 years of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
. This changing global demographic is putting various burdens on society
as well
as bringing certain benefits. I believe the greatest challenges posed by an aging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
are demand for resources both natural and social;
however
, these can
be alleviated
through technology and regulation.

When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into retirement, they continue to consume not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
food and shelter,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
time and finances. As the percentage of aging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
increases,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to spend billions of extra dollars on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
care.
As well
, thousands of tonnes of food
are eaten
by the elderly which are no longer available for the
next
generation.
For instance
, I read in an article last year that the UK
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
spent two billion pounds
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
budget to sustain the aging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
.
Fortunately
, there are solutions to these challenges.

In order to sustain the growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
between 70 and 100 years-of-age,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
establish
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
regulations which aid in controlling the consumption of resources. Although it may be difficult at
first
, new regulations
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
be put
into place that restricts the amount
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
, food-stuffs and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
treatments that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 70
are entitled
to. Already such limitations can
be observed
in hospital systems where younger individuals are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
priority
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
elderly waiting for organ transplants, such as kidney replacement. In the future, society
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
also
implement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
restrictions, such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 70
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
independently
cannot occupy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spaces
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
100 square meters. This type of legislation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
to
be brought
about for future generations to maintain the health of society.

In conclusion
, humanity can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
that as medicine continues to extend the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of humans, there is an ever-increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of life expectancy which brings with it a variety of hurdles. The most obvious challenges are depletion of resources. Solutions involve regulatory control in areas like food, medicine and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
. It is up to
Consider using "all society" or "all of the society".
all of society
to find the best answers for this dilemma in order to ensure the prosperity of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
and future generations.
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IELTS essay With advancements in medicine, many people are living longer lives, well into old age. What are the impacts of an increasingly aging population? How can societies maintain this development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
371 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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