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With access to the internet and social media websites, many children are exposed to a number of dangerous situations. Adults should thus limit access to the internet for their children. Do you agree or disagree?

With access to the internet and social media websites, many children are exposed to a number of dangerous situations. Adults should thus limit access to the internet for their children. NbRN
The wider availability of cyberspace and social network to kids and teenagers leading to endangered circumstances that is why parents should supervise what web content is accessible to their kids. It is true that accessing net and online sites could cause financial, mental and emotional dangers to youngsters. Therefore, elders need to be careful about what their wards are accessing and watching while online. Firstly, the unsupervised internet access could impact teens mental health. Because there are unwanted pop ups which could link to a pornography site and kids are not matured enough to recognise whether they should open such popped links or not. Eventually, they start building interest for such malicious content which is harmful during their growing years. Secondly, Children might not have attained emotional maturity to handle risk prone situations, which they most likely to get exposed Online. For example, nowadays many such games which elevate kid's curiosity and target their emotions due to which they become irresponsible towards family and society instead they are hypnotised through such games that they harm themselves. Recently, few suicide cases have been reported due to such anti-social acts. Finally, social application are key source for hackers. As kids are more vulnerable to fall into prey in social scams wherein scammers target them to draw personal data like bank account details, security credential, address. As a result, such free apps open the doors for financial risk for entire family of the kid because scammers either could rob the through account or can kidnap the child and demand a heavy ransom amount from the family. Therefore, a strong parental supervision is needed to those children who have access to internet. In conclusion, to avoid the undesirable effects due to easy access of internet to children a careful supervision is highly recommended which will help to reduce any mental, emotional and financial threat for kids during their growth years.
The wider availability of cyberspace and social

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
network
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
leading to endangered

circumstances
that is
why parents should supervise

what web content is accessible to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
. It
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
is


true that accessing net and online sites could cause

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
financial
, mental and emotional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
to youngsters.

Therefore
, elders need to be careful about what their

wards are accessing and watching while online.

Firstly
, the unsupervised internet access could impact

teens mental health.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
there
are unwanted
pop ups

which could link to a pornography site and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
are not

matured
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognise' is British English.
recognise
whether they should open
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
such


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
popped
links or not.
Eventually
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
building interest

for such malicious content which is harmful during their growing

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
years
.

Secondly
, Children might not have attained emotional maturity to

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
handle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
prone situations, which they most likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
exposed

Online.
For example
, nowadays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
such games which elevate kid's curiosity

and target their emotions due to which they become irresponsible towards family

and society
instead
they are
Possible spelling mistake. 'hypnotised' is British English.
hypnotised
through such games that they harm themselves.

Recently, few suicide cases have
been reported
due to such anti-social acts.

Finally
, social application are key source for hackers. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
are more vulnerable to fall

into prey in social scams wherein scammers target them to draw personal data like

bank account
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, security credential, address.
As a result
, such free apps open the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
doors


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
financial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
for entire family of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
scammers either could rob the through

account or can kidnap the child and demand a heavy ransom amount from the family.
Therefore
,

a strong parental supervision
is needed
to those children who have access to internet.

In conclusion
, to avoid the undesirable effects due to easy access of internet to

children a careful supervision is
highly
recommended which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
any

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
mental
, emotional and financial threat for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
during their growth years.
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IELTS essay With access to the internet and social media websites, many children are exposed to a number of dangerous situations. Adults should thus limit access to the internet for their children.

Essay
  American English
16 paragraphs
316 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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