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With access to the internet and social media websites, many children are exposed to a number of dangerous situations. Adults should thus limit access to the internet for their children. Do you agree or disagree?

With access to the internet and social media websites, many children are exposed to a number of dangerous situations. Adults should thus limit access to the internet for their children. KLGw
Nowadays internet and social media platforms are easily accessible and affordable, as a result of this many kids are prone to hazardous situations. Hence, In my opinion elders should take necessary precautions to restrict the children from the exposure to internet. To commence with, even though some content in world wide web and social media websites are categorized as adult only, the access is not restricted to children. Anyone having an internet connection can watch these and there is no proper security checks done in many cases. For example, there are chances that kids will watch videos having sexual and adult content. Furthermore, cyberspace is the new target of international criminals and even small vulnerabilities in the security can create huge risk. Criminals can steal confidential data from children easily as they are not aware of the importance of the information they share. To deal with this, adults should make sure that children are using internet in their presence. Avoid giving personal laptop or mobile phones to kids and keep a track of sites they are visiting and the content they are accessing. In addition to this, there are softwares which can identify malicious sites and block the user from accessing it. Parents can install these as an additional security measure. For instance, using firewalls and anti-virus softwares will provide extra protection to our data. To conclude, I would like to say, if adult siblings and parents would give some attention and time to their children and educate them about the ethical uses of the internet and social media sites, they would be safer and away from life threatening situations.
Nowadays internet and social media platforms are
easily
accessible and affordable,
as a result
of this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
kids are prone to hazardous situations.
Hence
, In my opinion elders should take necessary precautions to restrict the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from the exposure to internet.

To commence with,
even though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
content in
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
world wide web
and social media websites
are categorized
as adult
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
, the access is not restricted to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Anyone having an internet connection can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
these and there is no proper security
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
checks
done in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases.
For example
, there are chances that kids will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
videos having sexual and adult content.
Furthermore
, cyberspace is the new target of international criminals and even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
vulnerabilities in the security can create huge
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
. Criminals can steal confidential data from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
easily
as they are not aware of the importance of the information they share.

To deal with this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are using internet in their presence. Avoid giving personal laptop or mobile phones to kids and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
of sites they are visiting and the content they are accessing.
In addition
to this, there are
Possible spelling mistake found.
softwares
which can identify malicious sites and block the user from accessing it. Parents can install these as an additional security measure.
For instance
, using firewalls and anti-virus
Possible spelling mistake found.
softwares will
provide extra protection to our data.

To conclude
, I would like to say, if adult siblings and parents would give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
attention and time to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and educate them about the ethical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
of the internet and social media sites, they would be safer and away from life threatening situations.

IELTS essay With access to the internet and social media websites, many children are exposed to a number of dangerous situations. Adults should thus limit access to the internet for their children.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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