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Winning is most importance thing

Winning is most importance thing 2R3XJ
The winning moment is the most enjoyable time for each players. From my perspective, the process that we have during playing games is crucial. During that time, we might be through many kinds of impressions, such as happy, angry or nervous, etc, but all of those feeling are for entertainment. We don’t play games for winning, but to enjoy ourselves. And trying to win may make a corollary. For instance, we have tried so hard for winning, but the result don’t satisfy us, we will sad or angry, which makes us hald to control our reality feeling and behavior. Thus, playing games is just for entertainment.
The winning moment is the most enjoyable time for each
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "player"?
players
. From my perspective, the process that we have during playing games is crucial. During that time, we might be through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
kinds of impressions, such as happy, angry or nervous, etc,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
all of those feeling are for entertainment. We don’t play games for winning,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to enjoy ourselves. And trying to win may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a corollary.
For instance
, we have tried
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for winning,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the result don’t satisfy us, we will sad or angry, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
us
Possible spelling mistake found.
hald
to control our reality feeling and behavior.
Thus
, playing games is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for entertainment.

IELTS essay Winning is most importance thing

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
106 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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