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will transhumanism be the future of humanity ?

will transhumanism be the future of humanity? ORyny
World science day for peace and development, unesco’s aim is to highlight the important role of science in society and the need to engage the wider public in debates on emerging scientific issues. Face to the importance of technological progress thinking about the future thinking that the human species in its current form does not represent the end of the evolution Trans humanists/ mankind/ scientists Philosophical and political movement Since technological revolution of 20 century Entire world Enhancing physical and mental capacities of human body trough the progress of medicine, computer science, robotic and everything connected to artificial intelligence. To improve human situation, eliminate suffering and death Will trans humanism be the future of humanity? First of all we will remember why today the future of humanity is a question. Given that situation we will analyze the trans humanism proposition of society. Nevertheless we will develop a criticism to this movement and the obstacles to it implementation. Part I) future of humanity in question As we all know the 21st century saw the development or worsening of problems like famine, tensions, climate change, destruction of biodiversity, murderous conflicts. Lots of these troubles come from demographical, internal organization and capitalistic way of thinking. In spite of our technology and level of development we still accept that people die of hungry or suffer because of dictators. It is not evident that human species will survive during the next 100 years. Part II) trans humanism as a response As the etymology indicates it, the trans humanism has for ambition to produce an evolution of the human, a being "beyond" the human Technological development seems without any limit: we have good reasons to imagine that at the end of the century the world will be as much if not more upset than it has been during the last 50 years Bio printing consists in using the technology of 3d printing with living cells to create complex and personalized organs. Since first success in 2014 by Organovo scientist are developing simple structures like cartilage or bladders. Thanks to the programs of robotic we can create bionic arms and simplify life for thousand of people with disabilities that had to live without a member. In biology the discover of the CRISPRcas9 technology we are able to modify the DNA of the cells as simply as the function copy and past of a text. This revolutionary gene editing technique opens new perspectives in the possibilities of eradicating diseases like Parkinson or HIV. The set of applications is not even imaginable yet. Thanks to the progress of computer science researchers developed micro chips sufficiently small to be incorporate in human’s hand. They find simple functions like verification of identity to open a door but it could be the start of bigger projects.
World
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
day for peace and
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development
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
unesco
’s aim is to highlight the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
in society and the need to engage the wider public in debates on emerging scientific issues.

Face to the importance of technological progress thinking about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
thinking that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
species in its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
form does not represent the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the evolution

Trans humanists/ mankind/ scientists

Philosophical and political movement

Since technological revolution of
Did you mean "20th century"?
20 century


Entire world

Enhancing physical and mental capacities of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
body trough the progress of medicine, computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
, robotic and everything connected to artificial intelligence.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
situation, eliminate suffering and death

Will trans
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humanism
be the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
of humanity?

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
we will remember why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
of humanity is a question.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
that situation we will analyze the trans
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humanism
proposition of society.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Nevertheless
we will develop a criticism to this movement and the obstacles to
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun 'it'. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
it implementation
.

Part I)
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future
of humanity in question

As we all know the 21st century
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
or worsening of problems like famine, tensions, climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
, destruction of biodiversity, murderous conflicts.

Lots of these troubles
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from
Possible spelling mistake found.
demographical
, internal organization and capitalistic way of thinking.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
our technology and level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
we
still
accept that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
of hungry or suffer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of dictators.

It is not evident that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
species will survive during the
next
100 years.

Part II) trans
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humanism
as a response

As the etymology indicates it, the trans
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humanism
has for ambition to produce an evolution of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
, a being
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
beyond
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
the human

Technological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
seems without any limit: we have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
reasons to imagine that at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the century the world will be as much if not more upset than it has been during the last 50 years

Bio printing consists in using the technology of 3d printing with living cells to create complex and personalized organs. Since
first
success in 2014 by
Possible spelling mistake found.
Organovo
scientist are developing simple structures like cartilage or bladders.

Thanks to the programs of robotic we can create bionic arms and simplify life for
Use "a thousand" or use a number before 'thousand'.
thousand
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with disabilities that had to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
without a member.

In biology the
"Discover" is a proper noun and needs to be capitalized.
discover
of the CRISPRcas9 technology we are able to modify the DNA of the cells as
simply
as the function copy and past of a text. This revolutionary gene editing technique opens new perspectives in the possibilities of eradicating diseases like Parkinson or HIV. The set of applications is not even imaginable
yet
.

Thanks to the progress of computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
researchers developed micro chips
sufficiently
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
to be incorporate in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human’s
hand. They find simple functions like verification of identity to open a door
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it could be the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
of bigger projects.
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IELTS essay will transhumanism be the future of humanity?

Essay
  American English
12 paragraphs
464 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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