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Wild animals have no use in the 21<sup>st</sup> century and trying to preserve animals now is just wastage of money. v.2

Wild animals have no use in the 21<sup>st</sup> century and trying to preserve animals now is just wastage of money. v. 2
The natural inhabitants of wild animals and their way of life have been greatly affected by us and in my opinion, we should try to take and initiate every possible step to save these wild animals. The 21st century is the era of technological advancement, but this technological advancement does not mean that we have to alter the way of life. The lives of these wild animals have been endangered because of human and some species are on the edge of complete distinction and if necessary steps are not taken immediately, many of these species will be lost forever. Humans can't give life to any animal so they do not have the right to let them be destroyed. To keep the balance of the ecosystem, each species of the animal kingdom plays important roles and the existence of one species largely depends on upon another. To say that wild animals have no use for us is just a selfish statement and obviously, we should try to keep the natural balance for our own benefit. Many useful domestic animals have evaluated from the wild species and how can we even define a wild animal since they live in their very natural environments? Wild animals even play many important roles for us directly. For example,   many wild animals kill lots of rats and save the farmers' crops from being eaten or destroyed by those rats. In conclusion, we must try to preserve all the endangered and natural animals and as human, we should feel responsible to ourselves not to let any species be lost forever.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
inhabitants of wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and their way of life have been
greatly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by us and in my opinion, we should try to take and initiate every possible step to save these wild animals.

The 21st century is the era of technological advancement,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this technological advancement does not mean that we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
alter the way of life.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of these wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
have
been endangered
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of human and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
species are on the edge of complete distinction and if necessary steps are not taken immediately,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of these species will
be lost
forever. Humans can't give life to any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they do not have the right to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the balance of the ecosystem, each species of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
kingdom plays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
roles and the existence of one species
largely
depends on upon another. To say that wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
have no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
for us is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a selfish statement and
obviously
, we should try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
balance for our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
benefit.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
useful domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
have evaluated from the wild species and how can we even define a wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
since they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
environments? Wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
even play
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
roles for us
directly
.
For example
,
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
kill lots of rats and save the farmers' crops from
being eaten
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
by those rats.

In conclusion
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
try to preserve all the endangered and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and as human, we should feel responsible to ourselves not to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
any species
be lost
forever.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
If we spoke a different language, we would perceive a somewhat different world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Wild animals have no use in the 21<sup>st</sup> century and trying to preserve animals now is just wastage of money. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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