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Wild animals have no use in the 21<sup>st</sup> century and trying to preserve animals now is just wastage of money. v.1

Wild animals have no use in the 21<sup>st</sup> century and trying to preserve animals now is just wastage of money. v. 1
A large number of people possess the belief that spending money to save the wild animals is a  waste of national budget as these animals have almost nothing to contribute to the human’s progress or lifestyle. I totally disagree with this view and strongly suggest that we should try to save wild animals in every way possible. It is a ridiculous idea that wild animals have no place in the world because we have entered into the 21st century. I do not believe that planet Earth exists only for the humans and modernization means we need to be more selfish. I would rather say that 21st century should be the right time to make the planet Earth livable for all species. Letting the wild animals get extinct would be one of the worst steps in the human history and if we do not take initiatives to save those already endangered species, future generations would remember us as a selfish generation. Having said that, we waste millions of dollars on tobacco each day and I would say this is a waste of money. Spending money to protect wild animals is a prudent investment as scientists and ecologists agree that those habitats are important for the human survival. For example, to preserve the wild animals we need to save the forests, plant more trees and stop exploiting nature. This, in turns, saves the human species from being endangered. The human kind should maintain the balance of the ecosystem and invest money in protecting nature and wild creatures is rather a good investment. To conclude, the planet is shared by all the species and as the most intelligent species, as we claim ourselves to be, we need have rather great responsibilities to protect wild animals for our own benefits.
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
A large number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
possess the belief that spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
save
the wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
is a
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
waste of national budget as these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
have almost nothing to contribute to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human’s
progress or lifestyle. I
totally
disagree with this view and
strongly
suggest that we should try to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
save
wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in every way possible.

It is a ridiculous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
have no place in the world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we have entered into the 21st century. I do not believe that planet Earth exists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
and modernization means we need to be more selfish. I would
rather
say that 21st century should be the right time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the planet Earth livable for all species. Letting the wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
extinct would be one of the worst steps in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
history and if we do not take initiatives to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
save
those already endangered species, future generations would remember us as a selfish generation.

Having said that, we waste millions of dollars on tobacco each day and I would say this is a waste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. Spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to protect wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
is a prudent investment as scientists and ecologists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that those habitats are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
survival.
For example
, to preserve the wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
we need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
save
the forests, plant more trees and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
exploiting nature. This, in turns,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saves
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
species from
being endangered
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
kind should maintain the balance of the ecosystem and invest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in protecting nature and wild creatures is
rather
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
investment.

To conclude
, the planet
is shared
by all the species and as the most intelligent species, as we claim ourselves to be, we need have
rather
great responsibilities to protect wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
benefits.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay Wild animals have no use in the 21<sup>st</sup> century and trying to preserve animals now is just wastage of money. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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