Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Wild animals have no place in the 21st century, and the protection is a waste of resources. To what extend do you agree or disagree? v.8

Wild animals have no place in the 21st century, and the protection is a waste of resources. v. 8
There is a controversial issue about the importance of animal protection in their natural habitats. Some politicians state that this activity is wasteful for the budget, while some defenders of fauna argue that people should continue their attempt to save wild life. In this essay, I will discuss both points of view and agree with the idea of further protection. Let us start with reasons why some politicians say that defense of animals is unnecessary expenditure in this century. The first reason is that many endangered species cannot restore its original numbers. It does not matter how much money governments spend on recovery of animal world to its initial state, their numbers remain the same, because humans have occupied so much of their natural environment that it detrimentally affects their population. Another reason is that poaching is difficult to eradicate. Poachers will never stop hunting on endangered animals, until poverty prevails in their regions, so any attempts to save wild life are in vain, unless governments provide locals with everything necessary, such jobs and products. As a result, governments waste both money and human resources on this fruitless endeavour, which could be used to alleviate the burden of poor people. However, some animal defenders advocate that in 21st century authorities should keep protecting fauna further. They justify their opinion with the following reasons. Firstly, species at risk would become extinct with no protection. Many animals have disappeared in unprotected areas, since officials have stopped combating illegal usage of land as well as hunting. Secondly, the loss of biodiversity might have negative effects human beings. Since people are part of ecosystem, wide extinction of other creatures may trigger unknown illnesses or a large shortage of crops, which may destroy mankind as well. Therefore, people need to preserve other species, if they want to secure their own wellbeing. In conclusion, even though some politicians propagate that it is an unreasonable attempt to save wild life in these days, I think that governments should preserve natural world for the above mentioned reasons.
There is a controversial issue about the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
protection in their natural habitats.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
politicians state that this activity is wasteful for the budget, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
defenders of fauna argue that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should continue their attempt to save wild life. In this essay, I will discuss both points of view and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of
further
protection.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
politicians say that defense of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
is unnecessary expenditure in this century. The
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
endangered species cannot restore its original numbers. It does not matter how much money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
spend on recovery of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
world to its initial state, their numbers remain the same,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
humans have occupied
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much of their natural environment that it
detrimentally
affects their population. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that poaching is difficult to eradicate. Poachers will never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
hunting on endangered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, until poverty prevails in their regions,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
any attempts to save wild life are in vain, unless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
provide locals with everything necessary, such jobs and products.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
waste both money and human resources on this fruitless
Possible spelling mistake. 'endeavour' is British English.
endeavour
, which could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to alleviate the burden of poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
defenders advocate that in 21st century authorities should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
protecting fauna
further
. They justify their opinion with the following
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
.
Firstly
, species at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
would become extinct with no protection.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
have disappeared in unprotected areas, since officials have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
combating illegal usage of land
as well
as hunting.
Secondly
, the loss of biodiversity might have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects human beings. Since
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are part of ecosystem, wide extinction of other creatures may trigger unknown illnesses or a large shortage of crops, which may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
mankind
as well
.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
need to preserve other species, if they want to secure their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
Possible spelling mistake found.
wellbeing
.

In conclusion
,
even though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
politicians propagate that it is an unreasonable attempt to save wild life in these days, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should preserve natural world for the above mentioned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Wild animals have no place in the 21st century, and the protection is a waste of resources. v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
339 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts