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Why you wish to follow your purposed program?

Why you wish to follow your purposed program? 9LQE3
Why do you wish to follow your purposed program? The reason why I wish to study in the medical education program is due to my learning and working experiences. While I studied as a medical student 13 years ago, I knew it was not easy to become a doctor so I gave my best effort and I did a great job. But not for some of my medical friends. In Thailand, it takes six years in medical school. The first three years of studying without patient and in another three years with the patient. Some medical students encountered plenty of problems such as a lack of positive feedbacks from the medical teacher, no one to talk to when in doubt, and no pain no gain culture. As a result, many medical students did not have a great experience in studying. At that time, I wish that if I am a medical teacher, I will make it better. Then after six years of studying, I worked as a general practitioner in a rural hospital in the northern part of Thailand for three years. Apart from treating my patients, I was assigned to teach nurse students, nurses, and other health care workers in various subjects (advanced life support, pediatric life support, etc. ). I was extremely proud to teach. That was my first inspiration to become a medical teacher. Nowadays, I am working as a general practitioner in the airport health center. I am assigned to teach both health care workers and other airport workers in medical issues. I think I have to improve my teaching skill and follow my dream to become a great medical teacher. What do you hope to gain from completing this program? I hope I can get What do you want to do after you complete your studies? My goal after graduating from medical education course I will directly teach my medical student in the best and correct way using skills and techniques from this course. I will make them fun and fully educational I will transfer knowledge from this course to another medical teacher. This action will make a huge change. Medical students can be fun and happy. My dream goal is to change "no gain no pain culture" to "happy and gain more culture". I will teach non-medical workers about medical issues in the best easy understand way. Especially in this COVID-19 situation, educating people in society is the best way to prevent it.
Why do you wish to follow your purposed program?

The reason why I wish to study in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
education program is due to my learning and working experiences. While I studied as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
13 years ago, I knew it was not easy to become a doctor
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I gave my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
effort and I did a great job.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
not for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
friends. In Thailand, it takes six years in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
school. The
first
three years of studying without patient and in another three years with the patient.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
encountered
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of problems such as a lack of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
feedbacks from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
teacher, no one to talk to when in doubt, and no pain no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gain
culture.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
did not have a great experience in studying. At that time, I wish that if I am a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
teacher, I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it better.

Then after six years of studying, I worked as a general practitioner in a rural hospital in the northern part of Thailand for three years. Apart from treating my patients, I
was assigned
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
nurse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, nurses, and other health care
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
in various subjects (advanced life support, pediatric life support, etc.
Don't put a space before the closing parenthesis
)
. I was
extremely
proud to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
. That was my
first
inspiration to become a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
teacher.

Nowadays, I am working as a general practitioner in the airport health center. I
am assigned
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
both health care
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
and other airport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
issues. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
my teaching
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
and follow my dream to become a great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
teacher.

What do you hope to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gain
from completing this program?

I hope I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get


What do you want to do after you complete your studies?

My goal after graduating from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
education course

I will
directly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
and correct way using
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and techniques from this course. I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them fun and
fully
educational

I will transfer knowledge from this course to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
teacher. This action will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a huge
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can be fun and happy. My dream goal is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gain
no pain culture
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
to
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
happy and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gain
more culture
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
.

I will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
non-medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
issues in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
easy understand way.
Especially
in this COVID-19 situation, educating
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in society is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
it.
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IELTS essay Why you wish to follow your purposed program?

Essay
  American English
10 paragraphs
409 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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