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Many people now undertake extreme activities, from hang-gliding to mountain climbing. Why do people risk their lives in this way, and do you think this is a good trend?

Many people now undertake extreme activities, from hang-gliding to mountain climbing. Why do people risk their lives in this way, and do you think this is a good trend? GMweo
Extreme sports is now an upcoming hobbies of people, they are trying to test their ability by forcing themself into this type of activities. Some people take the sport very seriously and some use the opportunity has a one time event to promote themself in social media. Hang-gliding and mountain climbing are most extreme sport activities which require more concentrations and will power. People tend to take it easy because they look more attractive and easy, but fail to understand the risk when performing the sport, it needs lot of patience and concetration. Hang-gliding is extreme activity in which a person has to understand the nature while gliding in air, with slight miss calculation the glider will cross path and cause huge accidents. Once the activity is started it should be performed without any error. There is no point where a person can get back to start point because the rule of te activity does'nt have the option of quiting in between the activity. Its a activity where a person should fight againt gravity and air to overcome the challenge. Mountain climbing is activitie which looks easy, but once we reach certain heights the pressure on our heart rapidly increase. People start breathing heavily causing them to feel very tried. Since a person climbs horizontally, he needs ropes to hold him off the ground. this activity requires both muscle power and will power. Muscle power is required for person to climb up and will power is reqired to over come the fear of fall. People know this activities are risky but still tend to try because its onetime opportunity and belive that the protection gear will protect them from any accidents. If a person overcome such type of activities it will increase his will power and confidence. I think it's a good trend to test our body and mind with such activities once in life time becasue we will overcome fear and it boost's our confidence level.
Extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
an upcoming
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "hobby"?
hobbies
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, they are trying to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
their ability by forcing
The term is non-standard and not widely accepted.
themself
into this type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
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people
take the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
seriously
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the opportunity has a one time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
to promote
The term is non-standard and not widely accepted.
themself
in social media.

Hang-gliding and mountain climbing are most extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
which require more concentrations and will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
tend to take it easy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they look more attractive and easy,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
fail to understand the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
when performing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
, it needs
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
patience and
Possible spelling mistake found.
concetration
.

Hang-gliding is extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
in which a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
understand the nature while gliding in air, with slight miss calculation the glider will cross path and cause huge accidents.
“Once” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Once
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
it should
be performed
without any error. There is no point where a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
back to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
point
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
te
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
Did you mean "doesn't"?
does'nt
have the option of
Possible spelling mistake found.
quiting
in between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
.
Did you mean "it's" (="it is") instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
Its
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
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activity
where a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
should fight
Possible spelling mistake found.
againt
gravity and air to overcome the challenge.

Mountain climbing is
Possible spelling mistake found.
activitie
which looks easy,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
once we reach certain heights the pressure on our heart
rapidly
increase.
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People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
breathing
heavily
causing them to feel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
tried. Since a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
climbs
horizontally
, he needs ropes to hold him off the ground.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
requires both muscle
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power
and will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
. Muscle
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power
is required
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
to climb up and will
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power
is
Possible spelling mistake found.
reqired
to over
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
the fear of fall.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
know
Did you mean "these"?
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
are risky
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
tend to try
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
its onetime opportunity and
Possible spelling mistake found.
belive
that the protection gear will protect them from any accidents. If a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
overcome such type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
it will increase his will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
and confidence.

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it's a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
trend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
our body and mind with such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
once in
Did you mean "lifetime"?
life time
Possible spelling mistake found.
becasue
we will overcome fear and it
Do not use 's with a verb. Did you mean "boosts"?
boost's
our confidence level.
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IELTS essay Many people now undertake extreme activities, from hang-gliding to mountain climbing. Why do people risk their lives in this way, and do you think this is a good trend?

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
327 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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