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Why there are more and more students taking online classes?

Why there are more and more students taking online classes? kYgAN
We are living in the world which is changing and modernizing every day, every hour, every second. Following that development and the popularity of social media, technology and education are combined. That's why many online courses appear; leads to the fact that more and more students take online classes. Personally, I'm giving some reason for that fact. Firstly, online classes are well-known for its convenience. Instead of going to school and studying in standard timetable, students prefer staying at home in their room, doing what they like and learning objects which they are interested in. It means they can study wherever they go and whenever they want. Therefore students can feel more comfortable and love learning more. Secondly, many online classes have cheaper fee than that of almost institutes. If someone ask them which will they choose between the online courses having cheap fee and studying in institutes that they need to pay more although both of which have the same outcomes, students will choose the first idea. Furthermore, taking online courses helps students with the unlucky backgrounds save money and time to take care of their family. Thirdly, students can review, revise and examine themselves, so that they find out at which they are not good and prepare carefully before the examinations. Studying at school is not enough for students to understand all fields of the lesson without anyone to teach them at home. For that reason, many online classes allow students to learn more effectively and give them several tests to ensure their knowledge. In conclusion, more and more students are taking online classes because of undeniable reasons below as long as those courses are suitable and useful for them to learn.
We are living in the world which is changing and modernizing every day, every hour, every second. Following that development and the popularity of social media, technology and education
are combined
. That's why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
appear; leads to the fact that more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
.
Personally
, I'm giving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reason for that fact.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
are well-known for its convenience.
Instead
of going to school and studying in standard timetable,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
prefer staying at home in their room, doing what they like and learning objects which they
are interested
in. It means they can study wherever they go and whenever they want.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can feel more comfortable and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
learning more.

Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
have cheaper fee than that of almost institutes. If someone
The pronoun 'someone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "asks", "asked".
ask
them which will they choose between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
having
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
fee and studying in institutes that they need to pay more although both of which have the same outcomes,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will choose the
first
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.
Furthermore
, taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with the unlucky backgrounds save money and time to take care of their family.

Thirdly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can review, revise and examine themselves,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they find out at which they are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and prepare
carefully
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the examinations. Studying at school is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to understand all fields of the lesson without anyone to teach them at home. For that reason,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to learn more
effectively
and give them several
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
to ensure their knowledge.

In conclusion
, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of undeniable reasons below as long as those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
are suitable and useful for them to learn.
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IELTS essay Why there are more and more students taking online classes?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
284 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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