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why the real friend is good for everyone?

why the real friend is good for everyone? VYLK3
The real friend is good for everyone because it will help people become better. A superb friend will assist you when you have a problem with family, social, study, emotion, . . If you are unhappy, your friend will come and encourage you. If you are glad, so do they. Furthermore, it will help people connect with each other and will develop your soft skill. So that you will not timid to ask or talk to the others. Or when you have a project or a presentation, you will more confident and you will do it more splendid. In conclusion, the real friend will help them become better together
The real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for everyone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
become better. A superb
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
will assist you when you have a problem with family, social, study, emotion
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
If you are unhappy, your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
and encourage you. If you are glad,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
do they.
Furthermore
, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
connect with each other and will develop your soft
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that you
The word 'timid' is a noun or an adjective. A verb is missing or misspelled, or maybe a comma is missing.
will not timid
to ask or talk to the others. Or when you have a project or a presentation, you will more confident and you will do it more splendid.
In conclusion
, the real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them become better
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
together

IELTS essay why the real friend is good for everyone?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
108 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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