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Why people move to big cities to settle down?

Why people move to big cities to settle down? AjQBl
In recent years it has been trend that people live their native place and move to big cities to settle down. There are various reasons which support the migration from small villages to big cities. First and foremost cities offer a life style which attracts the youth of today, for example everyone wants to visit a shopping mall or a pub on weekends. Secondly, Cities offer more job opportunities which caters to need of modern educated society which prefers white collar jobs. Cities have less power-cuts, they have good facilities of internet, shopping, medicine etc. Cities have various facilities which are hard to find in villages like multiplexes, high quality hospital, good schools and centers for higher education. So people moving to cities are well justified as they get better life in cities. There are certain drawbacks of modern society and big cities such as crime, pollution in cities but the no. of benefits outweighs these problem. So cities promise better life to present generation.
In recent years it has been trend that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
their native place and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
to settle down. There are various reasons which support the migration from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
villages to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
First
and foremost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
offer a life style which attracts the youth of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
,
for example
everyone wants to visit a shopping mall or a pub on weekends.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cities
offer more job opportunities which caters to need of modern educated society which prefers white collar jobs.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cities
have less power-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cuts
, they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
facilities of internet, shopping, medicine etc.

Cities have various facilities which are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to find in villages like multiplexes, high quality hospital,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
schools and centers for higher education.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
moving to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are well justified as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better life in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. There are certain drawbacks of modern society and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
such as crime, pollution in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the no. of benefits outweighs
Did you mean "this problem" or "these problems"?
these problem
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
promise better life to present generation.
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IELTS essay Why people move to big cities to settle down?

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
165 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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