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Why people like to observe the famous people? Give reasons for it.

Why people like to observe the famous people? Give reasons for it. 15Wqq
Some people have been obsessed by fame and rich. Being popular means to be seen by other people rarely, where internet users, and people in real life recognize the name of popular people. Nowadays, not only, people who were born in celebrity, rich, politics family that can obtain fame, peoples who have access to internet and keen to digital marketing could gain popularity by getting tons of followers on social media such as Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
been obsessed
by fame and rich. Being popular means to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
by other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
rarely, where internet users, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in real life recognize the name of popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Nowadays, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
were born
in celebrity, rich, politics family that can obtain fame,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
who have access to internet and keen to digital marketing could gain popularity by getting tons of followers on social media such as Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok.
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IELTS essay Why people like to observe the famous people? Give reasons for it.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
77 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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