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Responds to the question 'Should arts be mandatory in schools?'

Responds to the question 'Should arts be mandatory in schools? ' do067
In the schooling environment these days, it is often said that schools focus solely on maths and sciences subjects rather than artistic subjects. Notwithstanding, I strongly disagree with this point of view as I believe that arts should be compulsory in schools because these subjects can relieve their stress, foster children’s creative thinking development, while also making a significant contribution to society as a whole. To commence with, studying these subjects can be an opportunity to reduce their under pressure for studying. While students spend a great deal of time studying calculating maths exercises or memorizing historical events, they hardly have their own time to recharge their batteries. Thus, having mandatory arts class is of great importance to relax after school and also promote productivity. For instance, some students tend to get tough in communication with peers or teachers, so singing a song or drawing a picture together is really effective. In addition, it is also necessary for children to foster children’s creative thinking development at school. Due to some activities such as painting and drawing, kids who study the arts can learn to think more creatively. By this kind of education, children can instill themselves to solve flexible problems and realize how to answer the questions that may have more than one right answer. As we can see, not only give them a chance to enhance skills, it also improves their feeling of multiple emotions. Furthermore, having a compulsory subject such as arts allows children to contribute to our society development. This is because the knowledge about culture, history and society is essential for each person, especially young generations. To exemplify, we barely know about this general knowledge if we do not gain the knowledge in arts that we will never get from sciences or mathematics. It is clear that arts also play a vital role to contribute to society. In a nutshell, it is true to say that arts should be mandatory in schools because there are loads of benefits of this subject on the growth of children. For those reasons, people need to concentrate to spend time learning about arts. I recommend that these subjects should be available in the school system.
In the schooling environment these days, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
said that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
focus
solely
on
Possible spelling mistake. 'maths' is British English.
maths
and sciences
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
rather
than artistic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. Notwithstanding, I
strongly
disagree with this point of view as I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
should be compulsory in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
can relieve their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
, foster
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
creative thinking development, while
also
making a significant contribution to society as a whole.

To commence with, studying these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
can be an opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their under pressure for studying. While students spend a great deal of time studying calculating
Possible spelling mistake. 'maths' is British English.
maths
exercises or memorizing historical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
, they hardly have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
time to recharge their batteries.
Thus
, having mandatory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
is of great importance to relax after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and
also
promote productivity.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
students tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
tough in communication with peers or teachers,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
singing a song or drawing a picture together is
really
effective.

In addition
, it is
also
necessary for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to foster
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
creative thinking development at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. Due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
activities such as painting and drawing, kids who study the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
can learn to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
more
creatively
. By this kind of education,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can instill themselves to solve flexible problems and realize how to answer the questions that may have more than one right answer. As we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
give them a chance to enhance
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
their feeling of multiple emotions.

Furthermore
, having a compulsory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to contribute to our society development. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the knowledge about culture, history and society is essential for each person,
especially
young generations. To exemplify, we
barely
know about this general knowledge if we do not gain the knowledge in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
that we will never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
from sciences or mathematics. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
also
play a vital role to contribute to society.

In a nutshell, it is true to say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
should be mandatory in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are loads of benefits of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
on the growth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. For those reasons,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
need to concentrate to spend time learning about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
. I recommend that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
should be available in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
system.
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IELTS essay Responds to the question 'Should arts be mandatory in schools? '

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
365 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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