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What are the reasons for people not getting enough sleep. Write down possible reasons and give solution.

What are the reasons for people not getting enough sleep. Write down possible reasons and give solution. E3nGD
The fact that the sleep is one of the most important factors for the proper functioning of human body cannot be denied. A handful of folks say that they are unable to sleep during the night. There can be numerous reasons for the deprivation of sleep among the people. In the following paragraphs the major reasons for this problem will be discussed and the solutions will be offered at the end. To commence with, humans are running in the rat-race for money and they have completely forgot to take care of themselves. The first and foremost point is the shortage of time. The people have involved themselves into number of different tasks that do not have enough time to cope up with their daily chores and eventually they have to give up their night’s sleep. The second point which cannot be neglected is depression. In a recent survey, conducted by public health, it was found that 75% of people experience the symptoms of stress and surprisingly, they are not even aware about it. In addition to this, there are significant number of people who are not able to get a proper sleep cycle because of their chronic diseases. As every problem has a solution, this problem too has number of different ways in order to eliminate it. The people can be asked to attend different seminars in order to understand the importance of sleep cycle in a human body. People in order to meet the tough deadlines in their schedules can use number of different apps that can remind them to complete their tasks even before deadline. Moreover, people can be strictly asked to give up their sedentary lifestyle. They can be motivated to do exercise, yoga and other helpful activities to improve their concentration. To conclude, sleep deprivation among people have become a serious issue and if above mentioned solutions are followed this problem can be solved.
The fact that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factors for the proper functioning of human body cannot
be denied
. A handful of folks
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "saith", "says"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'say' is not always incorrect.)
say
that they are unable to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
during the night. There can be numerous reasons for the deprivation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In the following paragraphs the major reasons for this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
will
be discussed
and the solutions will
be offered
at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.

To commence with, humans are running in the rat-race for
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
money and
they have completely
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "forgotten".
forgot
to take care of themselves. The
first
and foremost point is the shortage of time. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have involved themselves into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
tasks that do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to cope up with their daily chores and
eventually
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
give up their night’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
second point which cannot
be neglected
is depression. In a recent survey, conducted by public health, it
was found
that 75% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
experience the symptoms of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and
surprisingly
, they are not even aware about it.
In addition
to this, there are significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are not able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
cycle
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their chronic diseases.

As every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
has a solution, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
too has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
ways in order to eliminate it. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
be asked
to attend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
seminars in order to understand the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
cycle in a human body.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the tough deadlines in their schedules can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
apps that can remind them to complete their tasks even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
deadline.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can be
strictly
asked to give up their sedentary lifestyle. They can
be motivated
to do exercise, yoga and other helpful activities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their concentration.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
deprivation among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have become a serious issue and if above mentioned solutions
are followed
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
can
be solved
.
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IELTS essay What are the reasons for people not getting enough sleep. Write down possible reasons and give solution.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
318 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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