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Why people choose to own a house rather than rent one?

Why people choose to own a house rather than rent one? XnWmA
In this day and age, with the development of the economy, we observe an increase in people’s incomes. It provides people more chances to buy their own house. Many people in some countries believe that the value of owning a home is higher than renting one. This essay will analyze the reasons for this case and whether this is beneficial or not. There are a few reasons why people want to have their own home rather than rent one. Firstly, owning a house provides people stability while renting a house is temporary. Secondly, in some countries such as China, a person is qualified to get married only when he or she owns a house. Therefore, that can be the way to boost people, especially young people, to work harder. Moreover, people who have their own houses do not need to pay rent. Therefore they can save money and use that money for other purposes. Finally, people would have more freedom and privacy to decorate houses base on their preferences. On the other hand, there are many drawbacks. To begin with, buying a house sometimes is unaffordable for some people, especially young people who have just graduated. For example, in Ha Noi, a house costs more than 7 billion VND, and an apartment can cost around 2 billion, however, the average income of young graduates is only 5 million VND per month. Another disadvantage is that when people buy a house, they would turn down some opportunities to work in other regions. Moreover, those who are irresponsible and lazy do not clean or take care of their house well. Therefore, their house would become a mess and they may not want to return home after work. In conclusion, due to all the disadvantages mentioned above, those who intend to buy houses should consider carefully whether they can afford and be responsible enough to own houses.
In this day and age, with the development of the economy, we observe an increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
incomes. It provides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
more chances to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries believe that the value of owning a home is higher than renting one. This essay will analyze the reasons for this case and whether this is beneficial or not.

There are a few reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
home
rather
than rent one.
Firstly
, owning a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
provides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
stability while renting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
is temporary.
Secondly
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries such as China, a person
is qualified
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
married
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
when he or she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owns
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
.
Therefore
, that can be the way to boost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
especially
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, to work harder.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
do not need to pay rent.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
they can save money and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
that money for other purposes.
Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would have more freedom and privacy to decorate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
base on their preferences.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
drawbacks. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, buying a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
is unaffordable for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
especially
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
graduated.
For example
, in Ha
Possible spelling mistake found.
Noi
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
costs more than 7 billion VND, and an apartment can cost around 2 billion,
however
, the average income of young graduates is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
5 million VND per month. Another disadvantage is that when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
, they would turn down
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
opportunities to work in other regions.
Moreover
, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are irresponsible and lazy do not clean or take care of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
well.
Therefore
, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
would become a
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
mess and
they may not want to return home after work.

In conclusion
, due to all the disadvantages mentioned above, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
intend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
should consider
carefully
whether they can afford and be responsible
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
.
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IELTS essay Why people choose to own a house rather than rent one?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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