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why is sustainable development in multi-aspects important?

why is sustainable development in multi-aspects important? jDl9M
As the world population is growing bigger and bigger, the energy demands and socio-economic resources are also growing. Governments and organizations are managing to find out new approaches to a more reasonable way to this world's development. Nowadays, sustainability is an appropriate solution, which makes it become an economic developing goal for a large number of countries and territories. It is said to be significant due to its environmentally friendly and economic advantages. In the first instance, sustainable development is a green movement for the world's situation. It is the fact that our Earth is now put under threat due to global warming, polluted gas emission, . . . We could not deny that they are consequences of our civilizations' growing effects on nature. Fortunately, sustainability is able to contribute to reducing natural problems by taking advantage of a moderate amount of resources for huge impacts on people's lives. Additionally, it is not so challenging thanks to alternative energy resources such as solar energy, wind energy, . . . For instance, in some countries, wind energy is becoming popular, which makes an invisible insight for renewable resources development. Moreover, a sustainable approach is beneficial for the country's economy as well. Thanks to the appropriate use of natural resources and taking advantage of green energy, people may maintain the core values of their country. It is also a way to preserve natural resources and fossil fuels. Additionally, if people are capable of preserving well these resources, many next generations will benefit from them and have a better life. One of the initiators for this example is Israel, which is a poor-resource country, has a remarkable approach to using and recycling water. Thanks to it, the inhabitants do not find it difficult to find a huge water supply. In conclusion, sustainability is seriously important to people's life due to its contributions to the environment and the economy. It helps conserve natural resources and is beneficial for the economy as well. It is strongly agreed that it would become one of the main worldwide approaches in developing countries in the future.
As the world population is growing bigger and bigger, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
demands and
Possible spelling mistake found.
socio-economic
resources are
also
growing.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
and organizations are managing to find out new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
approaches
to a more reasonable way to this world's development. Nowadays, sustainability is an appropriate solution, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it become an economic developing goal for
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and territories. It
is said
to be significant due to its
environmentally
friendly and economic advantages.

In the
first
instance, sustainable development is a green movement for the world's situation. It is the fact that our Earth is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
put under threat due to global warming, polluted gas emission
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
We could not deny that they are consequences of our civilizations' growing effects on nature.
Fortunately
, sustainability is able to contribute to reducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
problems by taking advantage of a moderate amount of resources for huge impacts on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Additionally
, it is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
challenging thanks to alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
resources such as solar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
, wind
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
For instance
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, wind
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
is becoming popular, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
an invisible insight for renewable
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "resources'" or "resource's"?
resources
development.

Moreover
, a sustainable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
approach
is beneficial for the country's economy
as well
. Thanks to the appropriate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
resources and taking advantage of green
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may maintain the core values of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. It is
also
a way to preserve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
resources and fossil fuels.
Additionally
, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are capable of preserving well these resources,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
next
generations will benefit from them and have a better life. One of the initiators for this example is Israel, which is a poor-resource
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, has a remarkable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
approach
to using and recycling water. Thanks to it, the inhabitants do not find it difficult to find a huge water supply.

In conclusion
, sustainability is
seriously
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's life due to its contributions to the environment and the economy. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
conserve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
resources and is beneficial for the economy
as well
. It is
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that it would become one of the main worldwide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
approaches
in developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in the future.
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IELTS essay why is sustainable development in multi-aspects important?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
348 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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