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Why does humanity need artists?

Why does humanity need artists? 70ma6
When humans in the early days of their lives used the skin of animals and things like that* Their houses were mountain caves* They ate simple wild animals and ate and drank*And slowly, human beings of the same time, with successive efforts, are blocking the ease of living* As a result, they make their work easier by making spears, wooden beams and defense equipment, etc. * This process took place in caves and forests with a slight difference from wild animals* Over time and history, these people's activities developed* Developing their livelihoods in different ways*And the people who bring ease to the people, the people are very happy with them*From the people and persons who tried and tried in the field of inventions and various tools*People used their art and supported them with a lot of money*Finally, after years of industrial revolution, iron replaced wooden tools*People have always tried to support and help scientists* Humans are beings who have the consciousness of thought and thought and are always seeking the development, technology and advancement of human thought. For this reason, we can say that in the beginning, the invention of the individual or personal plane took its initial stages and was even ridiculed by the people, but they continued their work and even lost their lives in this way. As a result, over time, other individuals and individuals made their first efforts to advance the invention to the point where they adapted the aircraft very simply and flew successfully. And today we see that this invention has reached its peak and is one of the most urgent human needs. Do humanity feel the need for these artists or not? In the same way, from cars, ships, mobile phones, robots, and various techniques, the artists have reached this point step by step, despite their efforts. And they make the problems of humanity very simple and easy. We should appreciate and owe the efforts of these people and artists. Today, scientists have the power to build an intelligent robot that can communicate with humans and share self emotions with humans. In addition, there are scientists who are trying to bring humans to life on Mars. This effort is to ensure that the human race is not destroyed in World War III or any other case
When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
in the early days of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the skin of animals and things like that*

Their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
were mountain caves*

They ate simple wild animals and ate and dran
Replace by the typographical symbol.
k*A
nd
slowly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings of the same time, with successive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
efforts
, are blocking the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
of living*

As a result
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their work easier by making spears, wooden beams and defense equipment, etc. *

This process took place in caves and forests with a slight difference from wild animals*

Over time and history, these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's activities developed*

Developing their livelihoods in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
way
Replace by the typographical symbol.
s*A
nd the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
bring
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
happy with the
Replace by the typographical symbol.
m*F
rom the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and persons
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
tried and tried in the field of inventions and various tools*
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
their art and supported them with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money*
Finally
, after years of industrial revolution, iron replaced wooden tools*
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
have always tried to support and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
scientists*

Humans are beings
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have the consciousness of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
and are always seeking the development, technology and advancement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
.

For this reason
, we can say that in the beginning, the invention of the individual or personal
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plane
took its initial stages and was even ridiculed by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they continued their work and even lost their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in this way.

As a result
, over time, other individuals and individuals made their
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
efforts
to advance the invention to the point where they adapted the aircraft
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
simply
and flew
successfully
.

And
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that this invention has reached its peak and is one of the most urgent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
needs.

Do humanity feel the need for these artists or not?
In the same way
, from cars, ships, mobile phones, robots, and various techniques, the artists have reached this point step by step, despite their efforts.

And they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the problems of humanity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
simple and easy. We should appreciate and owe the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
efforts
of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and artists.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, scientists have the power to build an intelligent robot that can communicate with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
and share self emotions with humans.

In addition
, there are scientists
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are trying to bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
to life on Mars.

This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effort
is to ensure that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
race is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
in World War III or any other case
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IELTS essay Why does humanity need artists?

Essay
  American English
9 paragraphs
382 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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