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why do people like going shopping

why do people like going shopping KlOLN
In recent years, the number of people who like going shopping has gone up sharply because it has some following reasons. First of all, going shopping helps people to feel happy. While people go shopping and look at clothes, shoes, accessories which are sold at stores, they can get pleasure because it meets their requirements on a daily basis or buys themselves new something. Secondly, going shopping is a way to exercise. It means that when they go shopping, they have to take a walk a lot, climb steps, bend, and it releases energy effectively. Last but not least, it makes people not stay out of fashion. When going shopping, they can decide what to wear, how to look, buy something that looks good on them and keep the latest trend. In conclusion, going shopping has many benefits such as happiness, healthy, and fashionable that make people like it.
In recent years, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who like going
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shopping
has gone up
sharply
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
following reasons.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, going
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shopping
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
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people
to feel happy. While
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people
go
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shopping
and look at clothes, shoes, accessories which
are sold
at stores, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
pleasure
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it meets their requirements on a daily basis or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buys
themselves new something.
Secondly
, going
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shopping
is a way to exercise. It means that when they go
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shopping
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take a walk a lot, climb steps, bend, and it releases energy
effectively
. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
not stay out of fashion. When going
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
, they can decide what to wear, how to look,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
something that looks
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
on them and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the latest trend.
In conclusion
, going
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shopping
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits such as happiness, healthy, and fashionable that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like it.
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IELTS essay why do people like going shopping

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
149 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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