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many people think that children must including educational activities in their free time, if not, they just waste time. your opinion about this?

many people think that children must including educational activities in their free time, if not, they just waste time. your opinion about this? q092D
Nowadays, many people have claimed that if children don't spend their spare time on activities that consist of educational aspects, they just use their time uselessly. In my perspective, I agree with this statement. This essay will discuss, firstly the benefits of educational activities for children and secondly the bad consequences that will happen if children don't pay enough attention on these kinds of activities. Educational activities bring about a lot of good aspects to a child's life. Firstly, they will help children to improve their cognitive skills as well as become faster in their though. For example, some games like a jigsaw puzzle or book coloring are being concerned as educational things that children enjoy doing in their leisure time. Secondly, educative games help children to be closer to their parents as they can't play many of the games alone. Parents will be the ones who play with them or keep an eye on them while they are playing. In other words, that is also a very effective way for the parents to watch the growth progress of their offspring. Last but not least, educational activities nearly have no bad aspect to children's health. Unlike computer games or other kinds of activities, children can enjoy reading books or coloring all day without any harm to their eyes. Not spending enough educative activities in spare time result in many consequences. First, as said in the above paragraph, other games may harm children's health. For example, many children have to wear glasses at a very young at due to the effects of computer games. Not playing enough educational games also stop children from growing their mind and though comprehensively as well may make many children become emotionless and care less about their around world. In conclusion, children must spend their free time on educational activities for many benefits. In the future, this way of entertaining for children will absolutely become more popular as the numerous good aspects it bring.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have claimed that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
don't spend their spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
that consist of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aspects
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
uselessly
. In my perspective, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement. This essay will discuss,
firstly
the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and
secondly
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
consequences that will happen if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
don't pay
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
attention on these kinds of activities.

Educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
bring about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aspects
to a child's life.
Firstly
, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their cognitive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
as well
as become faster in their though.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
like a jigsaw puzzle or book coloring are
being concerned
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
things that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
enjoy doing in their leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
Secondly
, educative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to be closer to their parents as they can't play
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
alone. Parents will be the ones who play with them or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
an eye on them while they are playing.
In other words
,
that is
also
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
effective way for the parents to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
the growth progress of their offspring. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
nearly
have no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aspect
to children's health. Unlike computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
or other kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can enjoy reading books or coloring all day without any harm to their eyes.

Not spending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
educative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
in spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
result in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
consequences.
First
, as said in the above paragraph, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
may harm children's health.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
wear glasses at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
young at due to the effects of computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. Not playing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from growing their mind and though
comprehensively
as well
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
become emotionless and care less about their around world.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
spend their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits. In the future, this way of entertaining for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will
absolutely
become more popular as the numerous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aspects
it
Did you mean "brings"?
bring
.
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IELTS essay many people think that children must including educational activities in their free time, if not, they just waste time. your opinion about this?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
328 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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