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why do many working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem?

why do many working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem? 8LQ7k
As the saying goes ‘Health is Wealth’, but these days most people are running after making money and not bothering about their wellbeing. This is resulting in them being unfit and leading to health issues. The reasons for service class getting less exercise are their busy schedules and their lazy attitude, which can be overcome by having a disciplined fitness regime with encouragement by their employers. The main causes of lack of physical activity among working people is their sedentary lifestyles and lack of free time. Most people nowadays are working round the clock, leaving them stressed and with little time for themselves. Any kind of exercise, for instance, hobbies like jogging or cycling tends to take a backseat. Furthermore, whatever free time they get, they prefer to spend with friends or by watching movies. They do not want to take the pain of getting up early to participate in any kind of sport or to visit the gymnasium. This laziness and paucity of time ultimately results in them developing serious health problems. This problem can be easily solved with self-discipline and boost from others. The employers need to ensure that the working people are able to follow some regime for maintaining fitness. This could be brought about by opening gymnasiums in offices so that they can be accessed easily at any time during the day. If some dedicated time slot is assigned for exercise during the day, employees will be encouraged to use it for their physical well-being. Companies should also run awareness campaigns about the benefits of exercise and organize sports competitions. Encouragement from their organizations goes a long way in building discipline towards maintaining physical well-being by compelling them to incorporate exercise into their daily routines. In conclusion, lack of sufficient physical exercise in most workers is either due to dearth of available time during the work day or lazy attitude in free time, which can be overcome with enough push by their company and their colleagues as well as by instilling a sense of self-discipline in them to take care of their health.
As the saying goes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
‘Health
is Wealth’,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
these days most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are running after making money and not bothering about their
Possible spelling mistake found.
wellbeing
. This is resulting in them being unfit and leading to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
issues. The reasons for service
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
getting less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
are their busy schedules and their lazy attitude, which can
be overcome
by having a disciplined fitness regime with encouragement by their employers.

The main causes of lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
activity among working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is their sedentary lifestyles and lack of free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
nowadays are working round the clock, leaving them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
and with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for themselves. Any kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
,
for instance
, hobbies like jogging or cycling tends to take a backseat.
Furthermore
, whatever free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
, they prefer to spend with friends or by watching movies. They do not want to take the pain of getting up early to participate in any kind of sport or to visit the gymnasium. This laziness and paucity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
ultimately
results in them developing serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problems.

This problem can be
easily
solved with self-discipline and boost from others. The employers need to ensure that the working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are able to follow
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
regime for maintaining fitness. This could
be brought
about by opening gymnasiums in offices
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can
be accessed
easily
at any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
during the day. If
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
dedicated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
slot
is assigned
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
during the day, employees will
be encouraged
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
well-being.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Companies
should
also
run awareness campaigns about the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
and organize sports competitions. Encouragement from their organizations goes a long way in building discipline towards maintaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
well-being by compelling them to incorporate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
into their daily routines.

In conclusion
, lack of sufficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
in most workers is either due to dearth of available
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
during the work day or lazy attitude in free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, which can
be overcome
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
push by their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
and their colleagues
as well
as by instilling a sense of self-discipline in them to take care of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
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IELTS essay why do many working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
347 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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