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why do many people migrate to big cities

why do many people migrate to big cities DaVgA
Nowadays there is an extraordinary temptation to travel to the big cities as a result of job opportunity and healthier life, the two important motivation factor among many reasons. Jobless though are country habitant that they force to travel in order to cope with their vital issue. Should they not travel, if there will be enough work for all youth people. The destination of their migration which is in civilized cities, also approved this factor. The other vital reason is healthier life which is better in big cities. Even though some of migrant have choices of work, they travel in order to be closer to use better water, food and also more qualified doctor in other cities. Being more populated cities like shiraz without important civil factories, is an excellent instance of the second reason. were villages and towns to have services for diseases to be treated, there would not be a populated city such as shiraz these days.
Nowadays there is an extraordinary temptation to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
as a result
of job opportunity and healthier life, the two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
motivation factor among
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons. Jobless though are country habitant that they force to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
in order to cope with their vital issue. Should they not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
, if there will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
work for all youth
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. The destination of their migration which is in civilized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
,
also
approved this factor. The other vital reason is healthier life which is better in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
Even though
Consider using "some migrant" or "some of the migrant".
some of migrant
have choices of work, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
in order to be closer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
better water, food and
also
more qualified doctor in other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. Being more populated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
like
Possible spelling mistake found.
shiraz
without
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
civil factories, is an excellent instance of the second reason.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
were
villages and towns to have services for diseases to
be treated
, there would not be a populated city such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
shiraz
these days.
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IELTS essay why do many people migrate to big cities

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
159 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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