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Some think that the country’s success is completely dependent on economic progress, while others believe that other factors are also important.

Some think that the country’s success is completely dependent on economic progress, while others believe that other factors are also important. Daolj
Some think that the country’s success is completely dependent on economic progress, while others believe that other factors are also important. On the one hand, economic progress contributes greatly to the development of a country. First of all, a country with a rich and strong economy will prosper and develop. Economic growth creates more jobs, reduces unemployment and ensures people's living standards are adequate. Besides, economic progress improves people's quality of life. The government will have plenty of budget to invest in infrastructure and public services such as expanding the transport network and welfare works. On the other hand, many other forms of progress also contribute equally important. First, in the current epidemic situation, health care issues and the health system are also a measure of a country's success. Vaccination against COVID virus for people is a top priority to ensure everyone's return to normal life and economic development soon. In addition, the education system is also used as a criterion to rank a country. A country succeeds when the government invests in the search and development of human brains. A good education will help people grasp current technological knowledge and apply it to all aspects of life, contributing to making the country strong.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
success is completely dependent on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
, while others believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
factors are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
contributes
greatly
to the development of a
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country
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
with a rich and strong economy will prosper and develop.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Economic
growth creates more jobs,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
unemployment and ensures
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's living standards are adequate.
Besides
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's quality of life. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
will have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of budget to invest in infrastructure and public services such as expanding the transport network and welfare works.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
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many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
forms of
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progress
also
contribute
equally
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important
.
First
, in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
epidemic situation, health care issues and the health system are
also
a measure of a country's success. Vaccination against
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
COVID
virus for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
a top priority to ensure everyone's return to normal life and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
development
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.
In addition
, the education system is
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as a criterion to rank a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
succeeds when the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
invests in the search and development of human brains. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
education will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
grasp
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
technological knowledge and apply it to all aspects of life, contributing to making the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
strong.
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IELTS essay Some think that the country’s success is completely dependent on economic progress, while others believe that other factors are also important.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
204 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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