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why do I apply for financial aid

why do I apply for financial aid qQJ0r
Fistly, I would like to mention about where I live. Turkey is a wonderful place that everyone should visit in one point of their lives. However, there are economical issues during these days. Currently one Canada Dolar's value is equal to approximately ten Turkish liras' value. Consequently, I can't pay the certificate that you would give after completing this course. Furthermore, I am studying Physiotherapy with the support of goverment scholarship, that means I can't even afford my degree's payment. Also, this year event hough we had an opportunity to attend to some lectures face to face, I have chosen to attend them online because I wanted to accumulate to dornitory payment for next year. In order to achive my goals, I need to take some steps and improve myself with qualified education and intensive practice. During my research of extra education, your course excited at the moment I found it, because it was basicly the thing that I've been looking for so long. Later, I saw the price of the certificate and now here I am applying for this financial aid with a faith that you would accept. I hope you would let me get this course's certicifate for free and help me with improving myself as a physiotherapy student.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Fistly
, I would like to
Did you mean simply "mention where"? You do not need the word "about" here.
mention about where
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
. Turkey is a wonderful place that everyone should visit in one point of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
However
, there are
Did you mean "economic" (=connected with economy)?
economical
issues during these days.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Currently
one Canada
Possible spelling mistake found.
Dolar
's value is equal to approximately ten Turkish
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "lire", the plural form of the noun 'lira'?
liras
' value.
Consequently
, I can't pay the certificate that you would give after completing this course.
Furthermore
, I am studying Physiotherapy with the support of
Possible spelling mistake found.
goverment
scholarship, that means I can't even afford my degree's payment.
Also
, this year
Possible spelling mistake found.
event hough
we had an opportunity to attend to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
lectures face to face, I have chosen to attend them online
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I wanted to accumulate to
Possible spelling mistake found.
dornitory
payment for
next
year. In order to
Possible spelling mistake found.
achive
my goals, I need to take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
steps and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
myself with qualified education and intensive practice. During my research of extra education, your course excited at the moment I found it,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it was
Possible spelling mistake found.
basicly
the thing that I've been looking for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
long. Later, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
the price of the certificate and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
here I am applying for this financial aid with a faith that you would accept. I hope you would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
me
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
this course's
Possible spelling mistake found.
certicifate
for free and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
me with improving myself as a physiotherapy student.

IELTS essay why do I apply for financial aid

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
211 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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