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why are stress related illnesses becoming more frequent and what can we do about it

why are stress related illnesses becoming more frequent and what can we do about it WgJVK
The fast pace of the modern generation, combined with its high expectations can take a heavy toll on a person's mental health. Doctors and scientists have identified that the number of stress related illnesses have gradually increased during the past 5 or 6 generations, and they believe it will keep getting worse if we don't identify the problem, and find a solution to this increasingly threatening crisis. One of the key issues with the modern generation is it's growing competition in every field and the extreme expectations and pressure. Because of todays large population, job opportunities are decreasing. This means there is extra competition compared to the older generations. This leads to high stress levels and stress related illness be cause expectations are higher and workers must work their life away to keep or get a job. Research states that the percentage of unemployed Australians have increased by 1 over the past 2 years, which doesn't seem like much, but in the grand scheme of things, it all adds up to make a big number. Stress levels in employed Australians have also increased surprisingly, resulting in 13% of Australians facing stress related issues. The large amount of competition and high expectations can take a large toll on people's mental health and unfortunately there is nothing that can be done about it at the moment. Unlike the previous generation, freedom and personal space is also sadly reduced due to the large population. Doctors believe that most patients prefer to be left alone when they are stressed, Unfortunately, it is getting increasingly difficult due to the larger population and more better connected social networks. Even though help from doctors and other specialists are better available now, it is sometimes best if people are left alone when they are stressed. In addition to that, social media can add to your troubles and make matters worse. You can hear, see and learn things that you didn't need to know that will make you stressed out or worsen a bad situation. There is also numerous toxic and harmful websites that can make your day living hell. The best thing to do if a person is stressed it to hop off social media and take some time for yourself, go for a walk or do something that you love. It is crucial that we identify and understand the reason behind the increased stress levels and stress related illnesses. Doing so will definitely improve life quality, increase life expectancy and satisfaction. The increased competition and pressure can take a toll on people and unfortunately, there is nothing we can do about it, the society will just have to learn to adapt. However, if you are stressed, the optimal thing to do is hop off social media, go for a walk and take some time for yourself.
The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
pace of the modern generation, combined with its high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expectations
can take a heavy toll on a person's mental health. Doctors and scientists have identified that the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
related
illnesses have
gradually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
during the past 5 or 6 generations, and they believe it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
getting worse if we don't identify the problem, and find a solution to this
increasingly
threatening crisis.

One of the key issues with the modern generation is it's growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
in every field and the extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expectations
and pressure.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
todays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
population, job opportunities are decreasing. This means there is extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
compared to the older generations. This leads to high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
levels and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
related
illness
Did you mean "because"?
be cause
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expectations
are higher and workers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
work their life away to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a job. Research states that the percentage of unemployed Australians have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
by 1 over the past 2 years, which doesn't seem like much,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in the grand scheme of things, it all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
adds
up to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
number.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Stress
levels in employed Australians have
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
surprisingly
, resulting in 13% of Australians facing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
related
issues. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
and high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expectations
can take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
toll on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's mental health and unfortunately there is nothing that can
be done
about it at the moment.

Unlike the previous generation, freedom and personal space is
also
sadly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
population. Doctors believe that most patients prefer to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
alone when they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stressed
, Unfortunately, it is getting
increasingly
difficult due to the larger population and
Use only "better" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more better
connected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networks.
Even though
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
from doctors and other specialists are better available
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, it is
A determiner is probably missing here: "sometimes the best".
sometimes best
if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
alone when they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stressed
.
In addition
to that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
to your troubles and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
matters worse. You can hear,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
and learn things that you didn't need to know that will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stressed
out or worsen a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
situation. There is
also
numerous toxic and harmful websites that can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
your day living hell. The best thing to do if a person is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stressed
it to hop off
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media and take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time for yourself, go for a walk or do something that you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
.

It is crucial that we identify and understand the reason behind the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
levels and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
related
illnesses. Doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
will definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
life quality, increase life expectancy and satisfaction. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
and pressure can take a toll on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and unfortunately, there is nothing we can do about it, the society will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
learn to adapt.
However
, if you are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stressed
, the optimal thing to do is hop off
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media, go for a walk and take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time for yourself.
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IELTS essay why are stress related illnesses becoming more frequent and what can we do about it

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
469 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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