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Who should be responsible for our people.

It is true that the old Peoples situation gets worse in the many countries. The first question must be what they want’s and what they needs? Especially their necessity are more benefit more respect more quiet life. If they have been working for a long time in the any company or in the Public Sector and when they get old that’s means during their retire’s time company or Government must be responsible of their welfare, it is just my opinion. They should take care of them. In addition to company or Government. If they have good money they can look after themselves. We can do something to make easier their life for example an organization or a voluntary association, unions. The families or Relative’s responsibility depends on their wealthy situations. If they could do they should do anything. Government’s or their former place could supply them with life insurance and a good Social Security Policy. The Social community center or old age pensioner like in the Britain are very useful for them. For all of them life is hard and gets harder, in the their old ages. They expect more attention and good life. The old people, if don’t want lost them. We should do anything that what we able to do. I. Bozyil
It is true that the
old
Peoples situation
gets
worse in the
many
countries. The
first
question

must
be what they
want’s
and what they
needs
?
Especially
their necessity are more benefit

more respect more quiet life.

If they have been working for a long time in the any
company
or in the Public Sector and when

they
get
old
that’s means during their
retire’s
time
company
or
Government
must
be

responsible of
their welfare, it is
just
my opinion. They should take care of them.

In addition
to
company
or
Government
. If they have
good
money they can look after

themselves. We can do something to
make
easier their life
for example
an organization or a

voluntary association, unions.

The families or Relative’s responsibility depends on their wealthy situations.

If
they could do they should do anything.

Government
’s or their former place could supply them with life insurance and a
good
Social

Security Policy. The Social community center or
old
age pensioner like in the Britain are
very


useful for them.

For all of them life is
hard
and
gets
harder, in
the their
old
ages. They
expect
more attention

and
good
life.

The
old
people
, if don’t want lost them. We should do anything that what
we
able to do.

I.
Bozyil
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IELTS essay Who should be responsible for our people.

Essay
  American English
9 paragraphs
213 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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