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While the number of employees who want to employ well-experienced staff IS increasing day by day, it is also debated whether experience is more important than knowledge in business.

While the number of employees who want to employ well-experienced staff IS increasing day by day, it is also debated whether experience is more important than knowledge in business. This essay will reveal the pros and the cons of practical skills being more important in workplaces. The most noticeable disadvantage of experience being a more important factor than knowledge is that it is resulting in more unemployed people. Current unemployment rates give a warning. The jobseekers who know the job theorically are struggling to find a job because of this current popularity of experience. If no jobs are given to them, they will not able to gain experience forever. When technology is developing our world it is also improving the general knowledge regarding to the best way to be done a duty in a workplace. By knowing this fresh information that technology brings us, there is no doubt that knowledge is the most important aspect in business. This can be observed in highly-ranked businesses’ managers who have graduated from the universities that teach the knowledge in greatest ways. On the other hand, the knowledge that is learnt in educational centres such as universities and colleges, generally do not cover the duties that have to be done in workplaces. In contrast to the general view, a jobseeker starts learning the job after graduate from the university. It is obvious that a 20 years experienced architect would do their job better than a new graduate architect who has fresher knowledge in their mind. why? Explain… All in all, even though knowledge is alone not enough aspect to choose an employee, it must be the priority rather than experience.
While the number of employees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
want to employ well-experienced staff IS increasing day by day, it is
also
debated whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
is more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
in business. This essay will reveal the pros and the cons of practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
being more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
in workplaces.

The most noticeable disadvantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
being a more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
factor than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
is that it is resulting in more unemployed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Current
unemployment rates give a warning. The
Possible spelling mistake found.
jobseekers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
know the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
Possible spelling mistake found.
theorically
are struggling to find a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
because of this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
popularity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
. If no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to them, they will not able to gain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
forever.

“When” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
When
technology is developing our world it is
also
improving the general
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
The phrase ‘regarding to’ is not correct. Use “regarding” or “regard to”.
regarding to
the best way to
be done
a duty in a workplace. By knowing this fresh information that technology brings us, there is no doubt that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
is the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
aspect in business. This can
be observed
in
highly
-ranked businesses’ managers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have graduated from the universities that teach the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
in
A determiner is probably missing here: “the greatest”.
greatest
ways.

On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
that is
Possible spelling mistake. ‘learnt’ is British English.
learnt
in educational
Possible spelling mistake. ‘centres’ is British English.
centres
such as universities and colleges,
generally
do not cover the duties that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be done
in workplaces.
In contrast
to the general view, a
Possible spelling mistake found.
jobseeker
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
learning the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
after graduate from the university. It is obvious that a 20 years experienced architect would do their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
better than a new graduate architect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
has fresher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
in their mind.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
why
?
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Explain
…

All in all,
even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
is alone not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
aspect to choose an employee, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be the priority
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
.
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IELTS essay While the number of employees who want to employ well-experienced staff IS increasing day by day, it is also debated whether experience is more important than knowledge in business.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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