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While some think that art is an important subject for children to study, other think it's is a waste of time. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

While some think that art is an important subject for children to study, other think it's is a waste of time. VrxOw
In this modern era, world population increasingly moving to urban areas. Similarly, the number of masses think that cities are superior areas to spent their life as it allowed more benefits than the countryside. This essay will partially agree with this statement due to some reasons. Commencing with, why the masses liked to live in city area. First and foremost reason is that the developed cities provides a lot of amenities to the people like as: better education system, medical and transportation. For instance, when the folks used to live in urban areas and they can fulfill their demands because of numerous of job opportunities. Secondly, there have Peltora of leisure btime activities for youngones and older as campared to countryside. To illustrates it more, parks and gymnastics areas are being provided by government in metropolitan area and individuals can be remove their stress snd worries by going in that places. Therefore, by live urban areas not only helped to get success in their life bhut also aids to enjoy quality of time. However, there are also it's some drawbacks to live in cities. Initiating, the pollution level is more higher in urban areas rather than village. So, it creates haradous gases such as; carban monoxide and nitrogen oxides which is not beneficial for humans as well animals. At last bhut not least, human being are distracted from their roots because they always busy in their hectic schedule and they do not have much time to give the information to their children about their culture and tradition. Although, adolescent celebrated the all festival in cities but they have not knowledge about the history of their nation. Thus, live in village have a better to learn about their culture and it's also pollution place. In conclusion, it can be clear that it is fact that despite of live in cities is better place to spend their lifestyle and enjoy the better lifestyle but people should not deprived from their tradition
In this modern era, world population
increasingly
moving to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
.
Similarly
, the number of masses
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are superior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
to spent their life as it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
more benefits than the countryside. This essay will
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons.

Commencing with, why the masses liked to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
.
First
and foremost reason is that the developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
provides
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
amenities to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
like as:
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
education system, medical and transportation.
For instance
, when the folks
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
areas and
they can fulfill their demands
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of numerous of job opportunities.
Secondly
, there have
Possible spelling mistake found.
Peltora
of leisure
Possible spelling mistake found.
btime
activities for
Possible spelling mistake found.
youngones
and older
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
Possible spelling mistake found.
campared
to countryside. To illustrates it more, parks and gymnastics
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
are
being provided
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
in metropolitan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
and individuals can be
Consider using a past participle here: "removed".
remove
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
Possible spelling mistake found.
snd
worries by going in that places.
Therefore
, by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
success in their life
Possible spelling mistake found.
bhut
also
aids to enjoy quality of time.

However
, there are
also
it's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. Initiating, the pollution level is
Use only "higher" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more higher
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
rather
than village.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it creates
Possible spelling mistake found.
haradous
gases such as;
Possible spelling mistake found.
carban
monoxide and nitrogen oxides which is not beneficial for humans
as well
animals. At last
Possible spelling mistake found.
bhut
not least, human being
are distracted
from their roots
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they always busy in their hectic
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
schedule and
they do not have much time to give the information to their children about their culture and tradition. Although, adolescent celebrated the all festival in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they have not knowledge about the history of their nation.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in village have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
to learn about their culture and it's
also
pollution place.

In conclusion
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that it is fact that
Did you mean "despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
despite of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
place to spend their lifestyle and enjoy the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
lifestyle
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should not
The usual collocation for "deprived" is "of" not "". Did you mean "deprived of"?
deprived from
their tradition
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IELTS essay While some think that art is an important subject for children to study, other think it's is a waste of time.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
328 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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