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While prisons should punish criminals, others believe that the primary function of the prison is to help them how to have better lives. What do you think is the main purpose of the time spent in prison: punishment or rehabilitation?

While prisons should punish criminals, others believe that the primary function of the prison is to help them how to have better lives. What do you think is the main purpose of the time spent in prison: punishment or rehabilitation? AjakN
In this modern era there is an ongpoing deliberation among people on punishment and rehabilitation of prisoners. While some people argue that prisoners should be punished on the crimes, on my point of view prisoners must rehabilitate inside the prisons. In this essay, I shall discuss factors in strengthening my point of view while analyzing both the advantages and disadvantages of rehabilitation. First and foremost, the society can experience myriad of benefits through rehabilitation such as increasing quality of life of the society by ensuring social security as well. As an example if a prisoner is rehabilitated inside the prison he will learn lot of things about their life and they can get vocational training during that time period which will definitely help that person to survive in the future. In addition, rehabilitation will help them to get into the society without hesitation. On the other hand, some people think that prisoners shoud be punished inside the jail. For instance, if prisoners are punished on their offence that will tend them to hate the society than their early life. Moreover, once they are released to the society they will continue their early life because they do not have a proper way to earn their bread. However, countries who believe in punishment have not experienced decrease in crime rate compared with the countries who believe in rehabilitation. In conclusion, it is recommended to introduce more and more vocational training courses for the prisoners such as carpentary, motor mechanism, bakery and etc. It is also believed that government should ensure fair distribution of resources to majority of the population to mitigate the depression of the people which is the main cause for crimes. Finally, governments should also improve the facilitities inside the prison to minimize the frustration of the prisoners.
In this modern era there is an
Possible spelling mistake found.
ongpoing
deliberation among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
on punishment and rehabilitation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisoners
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisoners
should
be punished
on the crimes, on my point of view
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisoners
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
rehabilitate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inside
the prisons. In this essay, I shall discuss factors in strengthening my point of view while analyzing both the advantages and disadvantages of rehabilitation.

First
and foremost, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
can experience myriad of benefits through rehabilitation such as increasing quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
by ensuring social security
as well
. As an example if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisoner
is rehabilitated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inside
the prison he will learn
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
things about their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
life and
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
vocational training during that time period which will definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
that person to survive in the future.
In addition
, rehabilitation will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
without hesitation.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisoners
Possible spelling mistake found.
shoud
be punished
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inside
the jail.
For instance
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisoners
are punished
on their
Possible spelling mistake. 'offence' is British English.
offence
that will tend them to hate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
than their early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Moreover
, once they
are released
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
they will continue their early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not have a proper way to earn their bread.
However
, countries who believe in punishment have not experienced decrease in crime rate compared with the countries who believe in rehabilitation.

In conclusion
, it
is recommended
to introduce more and more vocational training courses for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisoners
such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
carpentary
, motor mechanism, bakery
Write the name of the item after 'and' or use only "etc".
and etc
. It is
also
believed that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should ensure
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
distribution of resources to
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
the population to mitigate the depression of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
which is the main cause for crimes.
Finally
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
facilitities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inside
the prison to minimize the frustration of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisoners
.
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IELTS essay While prisons should punish criminals, others believe that the primary function of the prison is to help them how to have better lives. What do you think is the main purpose of the time spent in prison: punishment or rehabilitation?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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