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moving from rural areas to big cities will provide more opportunities Discuss your opinion

moving from rural areas to big cities will provide more opportunities Discuss your opinion ljxY9
In this modern era, people prefer to live in big cities than living in rural areas. While some people argue that disadvantages in living in big cities over weigh the advantages of living in big cities, on my point of view people should move to big cities if they have the opportunity to do so. In this essay, I shall discuss factors in strengthening my argument while discussing both the aspects. First and foremost, people can experience myriad of advantages in living in big cities such as more availability, confidentiality, security and convenience. For example, people can access to almost all the facilities in a few minutes while saving their time and money which could be used for another purpose. In addition, people have more job opportunities in big cities compared to rural areas. Therefore, it is recommended people to shift to big cities because of the quality of infrastructure available in these cities. On the other hand, some people argue that rural areas are preferable considering the congestion and pollution factors in the cities. For instance, Beijing city of China and New Delhi of India is considered as the most air polluted cities on earth irrespective of the facilities available in there. However, those who engage in agricultural production have to live in rural areas considering the nature of their livelihood, other than that retired people can also live in these areas because it is good for their physical and mental well-being. In conclusion, it is believed that governments should improve the infrastructure countrywide to eliminate the discrimination of city and rural areas. Besides that, governments can promote eco-tourism in rural areas because in modern world most of the people prefer travelling in countryside.
In this modern era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that disadvantages in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
over weigh the advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, on my point of view
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
if they have the opportunity to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
. In this essay, I shall discuss factors in strengthening my argument while discussing both the aspects.

First
and foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can experience myriad of advantages in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
such as more availability, confidentiality, security and convenience.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can access to almost all the facilities in a few minutes while saving their time and money which could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for another purpose.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have more job opportunities in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
.
Therefore
, it
is recommended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to shift to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the quality of infrastructure available in these cities.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
are preferable considering the congestion and pollution factors in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
For instance
, Beijing city of China and New Delhi of India
is considered
as the most air polluted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
on earth irrespective of the facilities available in there.
However
, those who engage in agricultural production
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
considering the nature of their livelihood, other than that retired
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for their physical and mental well-being.

In conclusion
, it
is believed
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the infrastructure countrywide to eliminate the discrimination of city and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
.
Besides
that,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
can promote
Possible spelling mistake found.
eco-tourism
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in modern world most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer travelling in countryside.
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IELTS essay moving from rural areas to big cities will provide more opportunities Discuss your opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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