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while others live away from home because their universities are in different places. To what extent do you agree or disagree

while others live away from home because their universities are in different places. 7WgQ5
A number of undergraduates live away from home owing to the fact that the geographical distance. In my opinion, I agree that it has numerous benefits but it also has an abundance of disadvantages. On the other hand, Living away from home has numerous benefits. Many support the view that there are an abundance of benefits of living away from home. The student has to manage on their own without depending on anyone. It can make individuals more independent. According to the research, living far away from home can improve necessary skills better than undergraduate living with family. They can boost their problem solving skills. Students will live lonely in a new group, there will be many hard things that will force them to be strong to resolve. On the other hand, there are also various disadvantages of living away from parents. Undergraduates must pay a plethora of expenses such as rent, bills and tuition fees. It is immensely hard for a number of students owing to the fact that they must do a part-time job after studying at school to spend every day. Furthermore, almost all students miss their home, especially the first month in university. On the contrary they cannot meet face to face with their family because of distance. When they feel sick, they also can only take care of themselves. In conclusion, there are a lot of reasons why undergraduates should live away from home or not. In my view, I think it has both advantages and drawbacks.
A number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
undergraduates
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
away
from home owing to the fact that the geographical distance. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that it has numerous benefits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
has an abundance of disadvantages.

On the other hand
,
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Living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
away
from home has numerous benefits.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
support the view that there are an abundance of benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
away
from home. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
manage on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
without depending on anyone. It can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
individuals more independent. According to the research,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
far
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
away
from home can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
necessary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
better than
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undergraduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
with family. They can boost their problem solving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
lonely in a new group, there will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
things that will force them to be strong to resolve.

On the other hand
, there are
also
various disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
away
from parents.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Undergraduates
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
pay a plethora of expenses such as rent, bills and tuition fees. It is
immensely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
owing to the fact that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
do a part-time job after studying at school to spend every day.
Furthermore
, almost all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
miss their home,
especially
the
first
month in university.
On the contrary
they cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
face to face with their family
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of distance. When they feel sick, they
also
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
take care of themselves.

In conclusion
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
undergraduates
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
away
from home or not. In my view, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it has both advantages and drawbacks.
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IELTS essay while others live away from home because their universities are in different places.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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