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While compulsory education in some countries such as England begins at the age of five (with many children actually starting at four), in country Sweden, Denmark and Finland, school does not begin until the age of seven

While compulsory education in some countries such as England begins at the age of five (with many children actually starting at four), in country Sweden, Denmark and Finland, school does not begin until the age of seven 96Gqr
It is true that there are good arguments on both sides of the problem of the age‘s children who should take part in schools. Some people said that kids should be taught by the education system. In contrast, other people think that kids need to stay at home and play with their friends. While I acknowledge the former, I really agree with those who consider that children should have a lot of time to play. On the one hand, there are powerful reasons to support the optional why parents should to their kids going to school early. One reason is that adults are extremely busy with works and appointments. So, they don’t have enough time to take care of their children, but they also want to them having the best quality education. And school is the best way to help their children to study a lot of useful information when they are busy. Thus, this tendency provides the necessary structural framework for their kid. On the other hand, I concur with those who trust that every kid should have his or her childhood without focusing to study at school. First and most foremost, Children should learn through playing and communication with their friends and family. Because soft skill as kindness and self-confident sense can not gain from studying at school. There is another essential consideration. Children at an early age need more physical activity. Because children must be healthy to develop their bodies. These reasons play a principal role for children not only have good body and it also has open their mind. In conclusion, there is no doubt to say that the two sides of this situation are justifiable. But in my viewpoint, kids should spend more time playing in the playground instead of studying at school. This tendency will have constructive impacts on society‘s propensity if parents are aware of the further value of this trend.
It is true that there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
arguments on both sides of the problem of the age‘s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
said that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
should
be taught
by the education system.
In contrast
, other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
need to stay at home and play with their friends. While I acknowledge the former, I
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with those who consider that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time to play.

On the one hand, there are powerful reasons to support the optional why parents should to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
early. One reason is that adults are
extremely
busy with works and appointments.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they don’t have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to take care of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
also
want to them having the best quality education. And
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is the best way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to study
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
useful information when they are busy.
Thus
, this tendency provides the necessary structural framework for their kid.

On the other hand
, I concur with those who trust that every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid
should have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
childhood without focusing to study at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
First
and most foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
should learn through playing and communication with their friends and family.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
soft
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
as kindness and self-confident sense can not gain from studying at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. There is another essential consideration.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
at an early age need more physical activity.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be healthy to develop their bodies. These reasons play a principal role for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
body and it
also
has open their mind.

In conclusion
, there is no doubt to say that the two sides of this situation are justifiable.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in my viewpoint,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
should spend more time playing in the playground
instead
of studying at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. This tendency will have constructive impacts on society‘s propensity if parents are aware of the
further
value of this trend.
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IELTS essay While compulsory education in some countries such as England begins at the age of five (with many children actually starting at four), in country Sweden, Denmark and Finland, school does not begin until the age of seven

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
318 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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