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Which way would be more effective in encouraging young people to study science ?

Which way would be more effective in encouraging young people to study science? BJwoX
Science has always played a vitally important role in our lives, but despite this, it is not a subject that many students opt for at universities and high schools. We are surrounded by a wide range of gadgets and cutting edge technologies. Nowadays, we take these things for granted without realizing how just a regular workday would get harder without them. As far as I am concerned, there needs to be a breakthrough in the perception of science. We should start from scratch. The government has to invest a huge amount of money into modernising schools so that teachers will have the latest interactive stuff to make physics, chemistry etc. more catchy and visual. When it comes to school programmes, they also play a major role in motivating students. In these programmes students can try out all the stuff which they come across in their textbooks. Conducting experiments and focusing on certain parts of science can not only help you in terms of getting more knowledgeable in the field, but it also brings you the pleasure from the work which lies behind you. The only drawback of these programmes is their limited capacity and good school results which ensure that not everybody can enroll in this. To sum up, it is desirable to put forward a new law which would ensure that every student who graduates in the sciences is offered a well-paid job in a scientific field.
Science
has always played a
vitally
important
role in our
lives
,
but
despite this, it is not a subject that
many
students
opt for at universities and high
schools
. We
are surrounded
by a wide range of gadgets and cutting edge technologies. Nowadays, we take these things for granted without realizing how
just
a regular workday would
get
harder without them.

As far as I
am concerned
, there needs to be a breakthrough in the perception of
science
. We should
start
from scratch. The
government
has to
invest a huge amount of money into
modernising
schools
so
that teachers will have the latest interactive stuff to
make
physics, chemistry etc. more catchy and visual.

When it
comes
to
school
programmes
, they
also
play a major role in motivating
students
. In these
programmes
students
can try out all the stuff which they
come
across in their textbooks. Conducting experiments and focusing on certain parts of
science
can not
only
help
you in terms of getting more knowledgeable in the field,
but
it
also
brings you the pleasure from the work which lies behind you. The
only
drawback of these
programmes
is their limited capacity and
good
school
results which ensure that not everybody can enroll in this.

To sum up, it is desirable to put forward a new law which would ensure that every
student
who graduates in the
sciences
is offered
a well-paid job in a scientific field.
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IELTS essay Which way would be more effective in encouraging young people to study science?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
238 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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