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Which the development of technology children are now living in a world that is completely different to what it was 50 years ago.what problems does this cause for society and the family

Which the development of technology children are now living in a world that is completely different to what it was 50 years ago. what problems does this cause for society and the family bY2Mg
Technology is the most prominent thing in the world for all especially for the childrens and it has made plenty of changes in Humans life. just have a look 50 years ago there were no sophisticated technologies in that period it's totally different. In this vast world, we can do anything here by using advanced technology it has created a great impact on the childrens which is they have been using mobile phones and laptop and they are spending their precious time on that than play outside in the fresh air. Moreover, at the past most of childrens were go to playground to enjoy their leisure time with friends and family notably, only few technology people were using such as like t. v, radio. In spite of this lot of children had been watching their desired cartoons but they didn't submerge on the technologies. At the present, we are able to see that is half of the childrens have no good traits because their behaviours are so odious they have the technology wise atmosphere amid there is no place to spend time with their parents and society. we are living a machine life which is spending more time on technologies. It has been creating the problems that is people become lonely when no one is talking to them and even in the family which is lack of bonding in between parents and childrens the reason behind that problem is they are not spending time with their families. Our society has addicted to modern technology we should have restrained it but we missed. However, science and technology has been dominating human beings
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
is the most prominent thing in the world for all
especially
for the
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrens
and it has made
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in Humans life.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
just
have a look 50 years ago there were no sophisticated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
in that period it's
totally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
. In this vast world, we can do anything here by using advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
it has created a great impact on the
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrens
which is they have been using mobile phones and
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
laptop and
they are spending their precious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on that than play outside in the fresh air.
Moreover
, at the past most of
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrens
were
Consider using a past participle here: "gone".
go
to playground to enjoy their leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with friends and family
notably
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
were using such as like t. v, radio.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
this lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
had been watching their desired cartoons
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they didn't submerge on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
. At the present, we are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that is
half of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrens have
no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
traits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
odious they have the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
wise atmosphere amid there is no place to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their parents and society.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
we
are living a machine life which is spending more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
. It has been creating the problems
that is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
become lonely when no one is talking to them and even in the family which is lack of bonding in between parents and
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrens
the reason behind that problem is they are not spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their families. Our society has addicted to modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
we should have restrained it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we missed.
However
, science and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has been dominating human beings
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IELTS essay Which the development of technology children are now living in a world that is completely different to what it was 50 years ago. what problems does this cause for society and the family

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
270 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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