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Which opinion do you agree with? Some people say that the Earth is being harmed (damaged) by human activity. Others believe that human activity makes the Earth a better place to live. v.2

Which opinion do you agree with? Some people say that the Earth is being harmed (damaged) by human activity. Others believe that human activity makes the Earth a better place to live. v. 2
In recent years, the importance of physical exercise is increasing in our life. Physical workout improves our overall health and refresh our minds. However, some doctors from different countries has an opinion that people don't get enough time for exercising. I completely agree with this former statement. This essay will highlight the problems caused by the lack of physical exercise and give some solutions to solve it. To begin with, our body needs some exercise for maintaining the health. Now a days, no one gets enough time for maintaining their fitness. This will cause many harmful effects to our body. Obesity is the major problem caused by the lack of exercise. Other problems include increased blood pressure, hormonal change, especially among women, increased cholesterol levels, heart problems etc. . These are the major issues, in order to get rid of, we do some exercises at least free time. Moreover, there are a lot of solutions for solving the major issues caused by the lack of exercise. This solution will start first from school levels like introducing yoga classes, dances etc. . Also, we can introduce gym in the employment sector, especially among IT field. We must consult a specialist doctor when we have any such problems and take the appropriate medication. Everyone should spend a minimum of one hour for physical exercise in order to reduce the harmful effects from our body. To conclude, physical exercise plays an important role in our life. We have to maintain a healthy body and mind through this type of activities mentioned above.
In recent years, the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
is increasing in our life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Physical
workout
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
our
overall
health and refresh our minds.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
doctors from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries has an opinion that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time for exercising. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this former statement. This essay will highlight the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
caused by the lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
and give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions to solve it.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, our body needs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
for maintaining the health.
Did you mean "nowadays"?
Now a days
, no one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time for maintaining their fitness. This will cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
harmful effects to our body. Obesity is the major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
caused by the lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
. Other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
include increased blood pressure, hormonal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
,
especially
among women, increased cholesterol levels, heart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
etc.
Two consecutive dots
.
These are the major issues, in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rid of, we do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
at least free time.

Moreover
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
solutions for solving the major issues caused by the lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
. This solution will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
first
from school levels like introducing yoga classes, dances etc.
Two consecutive dots
.
Also
, we can introduce gym in the employment sector,
especially
among IT field. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
consult a specialist doctor when we have any such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and take the appropriate medication. Everyone should spend a minimum of one hour for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the harmful effects from our body.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in our life. We
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
maintain a healthy body and mind through this type of activities mentioned above.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Learn everything you can, anytime you can, from anyone you can; there will always come a time when you will be grateful you did.
Sarah Caldwell

IELTS essay Which opinion do you agree with? Some people say that the Earth is being harmed (damaged) by human activity. Others believe that human activity makes the Earth a better place to live. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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