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Which is the most important for you to choose a living place? Living in an area not expansiveLiving close to relativesLiving in area with many shops and restaurant

Which is the most important for you to choose a living place? Living in an area not expansiveLiving close to relativesLiving in area with many shops and restaurant GMoqj
No one would doubt that people are influenced by where they live. In fact, when it comes to where to live, people may have different opinions, some wants to save money, while others are so lazy and may choose to live near shops. Yet, according to following reasons and some of my personal experiences, I regard living close to relatives as most important. First, I do care about my family, and living close to relatives allows me to spend more time with them. For example, when I was a university student, I went to a school which was a little far away from my hometown. Nevertheless, I still decided to live with my family, then I accompanied them almost every day. To be more specific, I always had breakfast with my grandparents, played with my nephews after classes, chatted with my mother while she was cooking. As a result, I had a great memory with my family. Secondly, I want to control my budget, and if I live close to relatives, I can save money. I recently run a start-up company, so I need to control my budget. For instance, if I live near my family, I can eat with them without paying the bills. Moreover, when something is broken, I do not have to buy a new one. All I have to do is go home and get stuff which I need from my family. Consequently, I can save a lot of money for my own business. Finally, I am so busy and have no time to do housework myself, and I can turn to my family for help, if I live not far from them. Again, as a founder of a company, I am so occupied, meaning I have no time to wash clothes, to clean up my house. Fortunately, I live so close to my family, my mother can sometime come over and do chores and my uncle can help me repair furniture. Hence, I can devote myself in my business without distracting from tedious housework. Admittedly, majority of people eager to save money or have convenient lives, so it may seem reasonable to live in an area which is not expansive or has many shops. However, based on aforementioned analyses, when asked where to live, I definitely choose to live closed to relatives.
No one would doubt that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are influenced
by where they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
. In fact, when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to where to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
opinions,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
wants to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, while others are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
lazy and may choose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
near shops.
Yet
, according to following reasons and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of my personal experiences, I regard living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
close
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relatives
as most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.

First
, I do care about my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, and living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
close
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relatives
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
me to spend more time with them.
For example
, when I was a university student, I went to a school which was a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
far away from my hometown.
Nevertheless
, I
still
decided to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
with my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, then I accompanied them almost every day. To be more specific, I
The adverb 'always' is usually put between 'had' and 'breakfast'.
always had breakfast
with my grandparents, played with my nephews after classes, chatted with my mother while she was cooking.
As a result
, I had a great memory with my family.

Secondly
, I want to control my budget, and if I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
close
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relatives
, I can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. I recently run a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
-up
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I need to control my budget.
For instance
, if I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
near my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, I can eat with them without paying the bills.
Moreover
, when something
is broken
, I do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a new one. All I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do is go home and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
stuff which I need from my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
Consequently
, I can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
save
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
business.

Finally
, I am
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
busy and have no time to do housework myself, and I can turn to my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
, if I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
not far from them. Again, as a founder of a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, I am
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
occupied, meaning I have no time to wash clothes, to clean up my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.
Fortunately
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
close
to my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, my mother can sometime
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
over and do chores and my uncle can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
me repair furniture.
Hence
, I can devote myself in my business without distracting from tedious housework.

Admittedly
,
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
eager to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
or have convenient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it may seem reasonable to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in an area which is not expansive or has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
shops.
However
, based on aforementioned analyses, when asked where to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
, I definitely choose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
closed to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relatives
.
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IELTS essay Which is the most important for you to choose a living place? Living in an area not expansiveLiving close to relativesLiving in area with many shops and restaurant

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
387 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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