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if your neighborhood were to build a park, would you support the plan? Explain why or why not.

if your neighborhood were to build a park, would you support the plan? Explain why or why not. BJQNj
Many people think that building a park in their neighborhood will be disturbing. They say that this will means more people coming to their neighborhood which may make it less safe. Although I understand their opinion, I have a different point of view. I believe that building a park close to our house is an amazing idea because this will help all the neighbors to get out, and it will increase the social connection between them. First, parks are a great place to go out. Having a park in the neighborhood will make it easier for new mothers to get their young children to have some fun. Kids love parks and like to run freely all over the place. At a neighborhood park, mothers will not be worried about their small ones. Also for the older people, especially the retired ones, who have nothing to do all the morning until the rest of their families come back from their work, They can go out have a walk around the park, enjoy the nice weather, get some sunlight that can support their bone health. A park in the neighborhood is like an escaping gate for young moms with little ones and for the elder people from staying at their houses going nothing. Second, the park is one of the best places for social gatherings, it also reinforces the social connections between neighbors. For example, neighbors can do small marathons among them at the park, which after they can hang out enjoy exchanging talks while they have a light snack. Also, a lot of birthday parties take place at parks, where it is an open area for the kids to play and for the adults to spend time together far from the limited spaces at houses. One of the most events I really enjoyed attending took place at the park where the kids have different activities to do, also there were many fun things and activities for adults there too, I also got a chance to build new connection with the people. It ends up both me and my kids had a blast that day. That is why I vote yes for parks. In conclusion, for the reasons mentioned above, I urge every Home Owner Association, to consider a park as an important part of their little community. This will enhance the relationship between the neighbors, at the same time it works as a breathing spot for those people with limited access to the outer world. If you tried so, You will never regret the decision of building a park ever.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that building a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
neighborhood
will be disturbing. They say that this will means more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
coming to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
neighborhood
which may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it less safe. Although I understand their opinion, I have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
point of view. I believe that building a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
close to our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
is an amazing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
neighbors
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
out, and it will increase the social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
connection between
them.

First
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
are a great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
to go out. Having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
neighborhood
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it easier for new mothers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their young children to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fun.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Kids
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
and like to run
freely
all over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
. At a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
neighborhood
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
, mothers will not
be worried
about their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
for the older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
especially
the retired
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
, who have nothing to do all the morning until the rest of their families
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back from their work, They can go out have a walk around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
, enjoy the nice weather,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sunlight that can support their bone health. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
neighborhood
is like an escaping gate for young moms with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
and for the elder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from staying at their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
going nothing.

Second, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
is one of the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
for social gatherings, it
also
reinforces the social connections between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
neighbors
.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
neighbors
can do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
marathons among them at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
, which after they can hang out enjoy exchanging talks while they have a light snack.
Also
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
birthday parties take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
, where it is an open area for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
to play and for the adults to spend time together far from the limited spaces at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
. One of the most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
I
really
enjoyed attending took
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
activities to do,
also
there were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
fun things and activities for adults there too, I
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a chance to build new connection with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. It ends up both me and my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
had a blast that day.
That is
why I vote yes for parks.

In conclusion
, for the reasons mentioned above, I urge every Home Owner Association, to consider a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
as an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
community. This will enhance the relationship between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
neighbors
, at the same time it works as a breathing spot for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with limited access to the outer world. If you tried
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, You will never regret the decision of building a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
ever.
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IELTS essay if your neighborhood were to build a park, would you support the plan? Explain why or why not.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
429 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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